My job as Executive Director is to educate and enlighten lawmakers and the American public about our families, the impact discrimination has upon them and to advocate for full equality. That means speaking up and speaking out, in EVERY venue possible so that we remind those in power that real lives and real families are affected by their actions and inactions. This act of speaking up and speaking out is something every LGBT person needs to do. I already do this on behalf of my family and the families I serve everyday at soccer games, at school fundraisers, around the table during Sunday dinners and yes, finally, at the White House with the President of The United States.
On June 17th, I stood with the President prior to his signing of a Presidential Memorandum extending some federal benefits to same-sex couples. In those few minutes I showed him pictures of my twin 7 year old boys. I spoke to him about the millions of children like mine being raised by LGBT parents and how important his leadership is to protect families. He looked and he listened and we made a connection -- one parent to another. And he got my message. Our families are more alike than we are different. And my family deserves the same rights and protections as his family.
At Family Equality Council we train LGBT parents to share their personal stories with friends, family, co-workers, educators, faith leaders and elected officials. We know that when the public is educated about our families, we change hearts and minds. We are proud of the impact our advocacy has had all around the country one person at a time. Youth bravely standing up to school administrators who deny them gay-straight alliances. Parents bravely standing up to politicians who deny them custody and family recognition. Grandparents who challenge their faith leaders about the inclusion of their grandchildren in their places of worship.
Speaking up is never easy but it is the strongest tool we have in our quest for equal justice.
When Sharon from Illinois tells us of the devastating financial impact her family is experiencing because her company doesn't offer domestic partner health benefits for her long term partner who is receiving expensive medical treatment, people listen and learn.
When Martha, who lives in the Netherlands, tells us she cannot move back to the United States to be with her ailing 80 year old mother because her wife is not allowed in the country and Martha cannot sponsor her as a heterosexual spouse could, people listen and learn.
And when Chris & Rich and their teenage children tell the President on Monday, that their California marriage is just as meaningful as those shared by their straight counterparts, the President will listen and hopefully learn.
These are our stories. These and thousands more are the compelling arguments we present for equal treatment under the law. On Monday, while at the White House, in the company of those who can change our laws to provide equality I will tell these stories.
For decades we have been invisible to our government. Today, we have a President who is welcoming us to his home and wants to hear from us. He has made promises that our community will hold him accountable for, and I hope on Monday he will speak with the passion and conviction his voice carried forward on the campaign trail.
Yes, I will be at the White House this Monday. I will have one of the most important conversations we can have with one of the most important leaders in our nation¹s history.
I will honor the bravery and vision of the LGBT families I work daily to support. I will share their stories with people in power and mince no words about what we want, when we want it and how.
This is the oath of my office. Hold me to mine, as I work to hold the President to his.
Jennifer Chrisler is Executive Director of Family Equality Council, the national LGBT organization working to ensure equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender families by building community, changing hearts and minds, and advancing social justice for all families. Jennifer is raising her twin sons with her same-sex spouse in Newton, MA.
My two cents -- I think our community should meet with the President for substantive discussions about policy; I also believe that social gatherings can present a means of cultivating communication and relationships between groups, particularly ones that need to bridge gaps in strategy, outlook, and timelines about policy.
That said, there's not a lot of trust out there for our various professional advocacy organizations, based on the tons of email to me (thousands - my inbox is a mess), Facebook messages (another mess) from average LGBT people. And these are the orgs that are seen by the White House, Congress, and the MSM as representing the voices of the community. A common theme is that for too many of our "leaders" there is more emphasis on personal and professional upward social/political/financial mobility than there is community advocacy. Similarly, charges of fealty to the administration at the expense of the good of the community for the sake of gaining employment (well, DC is a company town, right) has been a running theme.
Well, from my POV, since I don't need a job in the admin, or work for one of these organizations, or live inside the Beltway (or get invited to these events, lol), it appears the truth lies somewhere in between. No, we don't vote for who serves as leaders of the LGBT community; the people who are there stepped up to the plate. They work long and hard to do the right thing from their perspective, and often feel they are in a no-win situation and can't please everyone. That said, those same people have to take the public lumps for the miscues, dodges, mistakes and biases that set the community back as well -- after all, they are $$$upported by the community. How about each invitee to that White House Stonewall gathering bring a discharged service member to meet the President, or someone who was fired for being gay in the private sector? What about bringing as a guest a transperson beaten as a result of a hate crime? There's a bit of reality to bring to the President's attention, some activism in that social setting.
I want to remind folks of the Call to Action of The Dallas Principles:  CALL TO ACTION
1. We demand that government officials act now to achieve full civil rights without delay.
2. Our organizations and individuals need to develop a collaborative and revolutionary new organizing model that mobilizes millions of supporters through emerging web and phone technologies.
3. All LGBT individuals must accept personal responsibility to do everything within their power for equality and should get involved in the movement by volunteering, giving and being out.
4. We will hold elected officials and our organizations accountable for being transparent and achieving full civil rights by active participation when possible and active opposition when necessary.
5. Our allies need to be proactive in public support for full civil rights.
6. Every government measure that quantifies the US citizenry must permit LGBT individuals to self-identify and be counted in every way citizens are counted.
7. We demand that the media present LGBT lives in fair, accurate and objective ways that neither include nor give credence to unsubstantiated, discriminatory claims and opinions.
In this new world of politics and activism, "leadership" is more than someone who earns a paycheck for an organization that represents a specific portion of our community. The face of leadership has changed -- it's not just a figurehead, it's all of you -- those who take the responsibility of contacting, meeting and holding your elected officials accountable. Those of you who show up to volunteer, those who organize -- online or offline -- to mobilize action; individuals who come out of the closet in less-hospitable parts of the country -- that's the most powerful advocacy tool of all.
The real problem is that there is often a lack of alignment between leadership and the grassroots, exacerbated by differences in race, class, gender, location -- a multitude of factors. And the principal difference is access to those in power. The advocacy groups have served as the buffer between political institutions and the average LGBT citizen. Messages that are not in alignment can and do result in PR and policy disasters of epic proportions, not because everyone isn't on the same page, but because they often aren't even in the same library in the same country. It appears that many LGBTs out there see much of the community's leadership as out-of-touch, unwilling to listen, and, by extension, cannot be trusted to lead and hold a slippery administration accountable lest they lose access.
 And that's where the fundraiser comes into play. While one can debate the utility of social gatherings to effect change, it's impossible to justify emptying the gAyTM to support repeated nose-thumbing at the community by this administration and the Dem party, either by silence, foot-dragging, evasive answers or outright offensive acts like some of the arguments lodged in the DOMA brief. You have money to donate? Give to your state organization; give to specific candidates that don't pussyfoot about supporting equality. Send a message.
It's been made clear over the last few days that while the social glue of niceties is one thing, withholding cold hard cash gets attention much more quickly. And your pressure on this LGBT DNC fundraiser, as the invited guest list shrinks by the day, can be repeated over and over. The DNC is hurting, take a look at the May fundraising date. Those queer dollars aren't meaningless, or you wouldn't see the scrambling for crumbs to toss at the community.
What we need is better and more engagement all around, less paranoia, more reality-based conversations -- within the community and with those in power, not efforts to stifle dissent or worse, pretend it doesn't exist -- or that it can be solved at a cocktail party or barbecue with a particular group of people. |
Movement Malpractice?
