Ready to add this to your bookshelf? The 'American Patriot's Bible'

I can't wait to read its counterpart!

The Wastrels' Bible:

Designed for lazy-ass libertines, the elite of America who revel in this country's ungodly Enlightenment roots and curse the darkness of contemporary rightwing buffoonery.

You'll learn the Bible truths you never knew, like

--Adam and Eve were the first druggie swingers
--Noah did it with antelopes
--Abraham was a foot-fetishist
--Pharaoh and Moses: where "He's just not that into you!" got its start

And much, much more!

"In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant."  The Colbert Report

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by: Lev Raphael @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 07:59:27 AM CDT

And that's even before you get to David and Jonathan

... or Ruth and Naomi.

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by: coram nobis @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 10:30:37 AM CDT

[ Parent ]

Pastor from Georgia

Ok, I admit this is juvenile, but I notice from the news item that he's from Cumming, GA (snicker snicker).

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by: phelps @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 08:07:49 AM CDT

Wow...

the hypocrisy just keeps on coming.  According to Lee he is " "disappointed" when politicians "use the word of God for the purpose of vote getting."  But I guess it is OK to use the word of God for the purpose of making money.  Well at least some in the Christian community are calling this out for what it is-"Evangelical author and pastor Greg Boyd's lengthy critique, posted on Christianity Today's website, calls Lee's Bible 'idolatrous,' saying, 'There's not a single commentary in this Bible that even attempts to shed light on what the biblical text actually means'."  

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by: actosrep @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 08:32:17 AM CDT

Read about this on the USA Today app

..as I used socialistic public transit to get to my office.  Since it was on an MSM page I thought it'd be less fundie because, you know, they don't cover the fringe.

I stopped reading when the good Pastor Dick not only said he had no evidence Obama was a patriot, but that he wasn't sure that Jimmy Carter was a Christian.  

This asshole probably has Janet Porter on speed-dial.

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by: giftedguru1970 @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 08:33:57 AM CDT

wow

that is creepy.

http://EQFL.org

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by: banshiii @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 08:55:00 AM CDT

under attack

In the article is the publisher bleating how conservative Christians are under attack.  I love it when they start this crap.  By "under attack," they really mean "learning that reasonable people don't want someone's religious beliefs dominating the personal lives of all citizens."  I couldn't care less what these folks believe, but it sure as hell doesn't belong in the government.

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by: ChristopherM @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 09:17:36 AM CDT

cheaper than buying new content to publish

.
Bet this is featured in infomercials on the ABC Family Network.

Excellent reference material for starting up a Jihad for Jesus.
.

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by: cosanostradamus @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 09:51:32 AM CDT

Thou Shalt Be Conservative

Odds are this is a King James only version.  This type view all other versions as heresy.

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by: Jon Michaels @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 10:02:52 AM CDT

Lord God All-Irony!

The King James version was written for an English audience, not Joe the Plumber's Helper and his ilk. And, of course, King James I was perhaps the most prominent queen of the Reformation.

If there is a God, S/He has a very great sense of irony.

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by: coram nobis @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 10:29:06 AM CDT

[ Parent ]

alternate theocratic history

Fundamentalist Christians and their enablers in the wider conservative movement use false quotations from the Founders to assert that this is a "Christian nation". Chris Rodda's book Liars for Jesus does an excellent job cataloging and debunking these falsehoods.

The extreme right is theocratic in its intentions, and this is simply more fuel to the fire. This is a core group of believers who truly believe that the US Constitution was based on the Bible, that the Bill of Rights was derived from the Ten Commandments, and so forth, and there is a cottage industry of would-be theocrats who serve this niche with false quotations as well as out-of-context quote mining.

I imagine that The Patriot's Bible serves to collect all these lies in a central source. It will be to history what creationist books are to biology: a "reference work" based on a parallel fantasy world. A scary, theocratic, and proto-fascist fantasy world.

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by: thinkoplex @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 13:37:37 PM CDT

Another revisionist bible.

The so-called "American Patriot Bible" is a right-wing extremist version of Mein Kampf.

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by: Blood From Machines @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 13:55:19 PM CDT

Exactly What It Is

And what would REALLY be the final nail in the "christian" coffin is if Dobson and the rest picks up this "bible", and then starts claiming people who don't follow the "new bible" isn't a "true christian"! LOL

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by: bluegrassfool @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 14:32:19 PM CDT

[ Parent ]

Gay Bible

Why not?  It would be much better than LGBT Christians apologizing for the homophobia in the King James version.  The other alternative, no Christian Bible of any kind at all which would suit me just fine.

Same-Sex Marriage is good for the economy.

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by: CharlesMerrill @ Thu Jul 02, 2009 at 18:18:08 PM CDT

[ Parent ]