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Ted Haggard's now 'a heterosexual with very few issues'

by: Pam Spaulding

Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 18:00:00 PM EDT

Oy. The bad penny with a former penchant for tweaking and man-on-man intimate massage in the name of Jeebus, failed pastor Ted Haggard, has turned up again. He's told a reporter that he was "a heterosexual with issues" but has now moved to 'a heterosexual with very few issues.' He's also on Twitter answering his critics. I won't bother spending any more time on this guy.

Pam Spaulding :: Ted Haggard's now 'a heterosexual with very few issues'

Tags: Ex-gay, Fundies, Ted Haggard, (All Tags)

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Ted Haggard's now 'a heterosexual with very few issues' | 16 comments

A Heterosexual With Very Few Issues

about switching teams when a guy who strikes his fancy crosses his path. Because when HE'S doing it with a man, he's "going through a struggle".

Please! That dick-mangling cheshire grin of his doesn't fool me for a second.

by: bluegrassfool @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 17:06:14 PM CDT

by: you @ soon

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More like

A bisexual with a few issues.

First one is denial.

Dena

Cisgender. Because "Genetic" is so 2006.

by: Denabeth @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 17:21:26 PM CDT

by: you @ soon

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for those left-over issues...look in Mrs Haggard's hope chest

What have you done today, to make ya feel PROUD?

~Heather Small

by: peteyPornpig @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 17:22:14 PM CDT

by: you @ soon

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More issues than Cosmopolitan!

"It goes on one at a time, it starts when you care to act, it starts when you do it again after they said no, it starts when you say We and know who you mean, and each day you mean one more."

by: Louise @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 17:42:04 PM CDT

by: you @ soon

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fabulous line...I'll tuck that one away

What have you done today, to make ya feel PROUD?

~Heather Small

by: peteyPornpig @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 17:44:23 PM CDT

[ Parent ]

by: you @ soon

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I was also gonna ask

who this "Twitter" person is that Ted is "on" and if Twitter needs assistance...

"It goes on one at a time, it starts when you care to act, it starts when you do it again after they said no, it starts when you say We and know who you mean, and each day you mean one more."

by: Louise @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 17:50:30 PM CDT

[ Parent ]

Ted is hetero cuz he's BROKE

and no man would f*ck him except for money.

What have you done today, to make ya feel PROUD?

~Heather Small

by: peteyPornpig @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 18:11:41 PM CDT

by: you @ soon

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A few issues...

of Playgirl and/or Honcho

>^..^<

by: KatRose @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 18:17:22 PM CDT

by: you @ soon

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LOL

Good one!

Dena

Cisgender. Because "Genetic" is so 2006.

by: Denabeth @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 18:39:59 PM CDT

[ Parent ]

by: you @ soon

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Sigh*

Its like watching a Red Giant go Super Nova! The gravity just keeps condensing everything until one day he just explodes. let's just hope that happens before he collapses in on himself and reverts to just a black hole. ;)

Always thinking about it...

by: kudo451 @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 20:33:18 PM CDT

by: you @ soon

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walks like a duck...

A family member who stopped going to AA said he wasn't an alcoholic, he just had alcohol management issues. He doth protest too much. And I think Ted's 15 minutes are about up.

It may be the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others.

by: sandushinka @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 22:36:29 PM CDT

by: you @ soon

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If he's really

"heterosexual with very few issues" then I'm the pygmy queen of Madagascar.

Fetch my pearls, I need to clutch them!

by: RainbowPhoenix @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 23:25:28 PM CDT

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Ted Haggard is heterosexual with very few issues

when compared to Richard Simmons

What have you done today, to make ya feel PROUD?

~Heather Small

by: peteyPornpig @ Wed Sep 09, 2009 at 23:50:01 PM CDT

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Poor, Poor Haggard...

He just doesn't understand. Just because you can type "heterosexual with very few issues" doesn't mean you are one. Hell, I can type a sentence claiming I'm heterosexual but it doesn't mean I am one.

by: DCArtTart @ Thu Sep 10, 2009 at 06:37:42 AM CDT

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He-he

So how many men constitutes a few in this case? 2? 3? 5?

by: kevinchi @ Thu Sep 10, 2009 at 10:12:53 AM CDT

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Gah!

Ted Haggard doesn't just have issues, he has the whole subscription, including the back issue archive.