Why? Tyra Banks' "I hate being gay" show

Im Curious....

I wonder if Tyra was able to make this topic about herself too.

Jon aka The Angry Fag
http://www.theangryfag.com/
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=TheAngryFag

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by: TheAngryFag @ Fri Feb 20, 2009 at 20:54:34 PM CST

These shows are FAKE!

When I lived in Los Angeles, I knew several people who worked as producers on daytime talk shows. I learned that these shows are more often than not completely fake.

The producers will do anything to put produce a good show. That includes asking their friends to appear on the show and follow a somewhat scripted storyline. They also share potential guests with other producers.

My twin brother and I were asked to appear on several shows. The producers would say things like, "We're doing a show on twins who have cheated with their twin's spouse..." The fact that we are gay/straight twins made us a hot property.

After we actually spoke to one of these producers, our names and contact information was shared with other producers -- some in New York City. We were asked to appear on Leeza, Jenny Jones, Vicki Lawrence (obviously this was many years ago).

My brother and I almost did it to get a free trip to New York. They fly you in and put you up at a hotel -- even pay for dinner and drinks.

Does Tyra know that her guests are fake? Does she care? Who knows. But, the producers know the truth. All they care about is making a sensational program.  

When you look for the bad in mankind, expecting to find it, you surely will.

- Abraham Lincoln.

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by: Fritz @ Fri Feb 20, 2009 at 21:32:40 PM CST

BTW

Other shows are also fake.

I saw an episode of What Not To Wear and the person getting the makeover was a friend of my ex-boyfriend -- who has wonderful taste in clothes. The whole thing was staged.  

When you look for the bad in mankind, expecting to find it, you surely will.

- Abraham Lincoln.

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by: Fritz @ Fri Feb 20, 2009 at 21:37:24 PM CST

[ Parent ]

I HOPE it was staged too...

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by: RogernDC @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 00:17:25 AM CST

[ Parent ]

LIAR!!!!!!!!

Stacey and Clinton would never do such a thing...

runs off to weep in closet

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by: saywhat? @ Mon Feb 23, 2009 at 09:13:48 AM CST

[ Parent ]

What the heck?

Did she do a casting call specifically for these people?

Some of this is not really shocking...isn't this what the majority of the ex-gay movement is about?  Many of those guys aren't completely straight (or even kinda straight for some).  They have just adopted the "straight life" by forcing themselves into marriage and adopting certain strict behaviors to resemble being a stereotype of perceived masculinity or femininity.

That kid seems seriously immature.  eye roll  This show becomes more and more like Jerry Springer everyday.  Next up, bitch-slapping and wigs falling off.

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting." -E.E. Cummings

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by: popsiclestand @ Fri Feb 20, 2009 at 21:32:51 PM CST

"Did she do a casting call specifically for these people?"

Her producer certainly did!

I promise you that I could become a guest on Tyra. I just have to find out who the producers are and let them know that my brother and I are gay/straight twins who aren't sure about the paternity of the straight twin's children or something like that.

When you look for the bad in mankind, expecting to find it, you surely will.

- Abraham Lincoln.

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by: Fritz @ Fri Feb 20, 2009 at 21:41:31 PM CST

[ Parent ]

In one of the clips

Tyra makes reference to "the gay lifestyle."  That, plus the fact that she'd do a show like this to begin with, is a pretty good indicator of what she's about.  At no point in this program (assuming it's for real--Fritz isn't the first source I've heard say they're phony) does she provide a counterbalancing point of view, offer to get these kids counseling, or do anything but milk the subject for every groan it can provoke from her audience.

And GLAAD is giving her one of their damnfool media awards.  They're actually going one better than their previous decision to give an award to Jay "Gayest Look" Leno.

I swear, there are times I suspect GLAAD is a dummy organization, set up to make HRC look good.

Cynic, n.  A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.  
-Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

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by: QScribe @ Fri Feb 20, 2009 at 22:24:22 PM CST

I'm sure Tyra covered the issue with greatt sensitivity

I wonder how long it took to get to the suicide on television scene?

The sad part is that I'm sure a number of young gays must be very unhappy to be gay due to the discrimination, bashings and murders, and the fact that gays are the only minority that many people think it is perfectly acceptable to hate.

Somehow, I doubt that Ms. Banks actually talked to any of these kids about the societal pressures that make them unhappy.

After all, being gay is a choice, so if you are gay and unhappy, it's your own fault.

You know, just like being a fundie bigot is a choice.

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality. -- John F. Kennedy (inspired by Dante's Inferno)

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by: oldbrit @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 00:04:20 AM CST

First it was the gay for pay

boys and now this.

Tyra is really getting on my nerves.

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by: kevinchi @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 00:12:05 AM CST

I have a simple solution

Don't watch this absolute garbage.  

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by: onthesea @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 08:27:42 AM CST

What is that a solution to?

Whether any of us personally watch this show or not, the fact remains that millions of people do watch--and absorb its message.  Millions of people with voices--and votes.  So we should simply close our eyes and pretend they don't exist?  Burying our heads in the sand is not a solution to anything, as far as I an see.

Cynic, n.  A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.  
-Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

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by: QScribe @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 11:28:30 AM CST

[ Parent ]

FYI

I've never tuned in to a minute of any reality show, "good" or bad.  Yes, we do exist. Feel free to rate my comment as bad or troll or whatever, too.

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by: Pollyanna @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 16:20:49 PM CST

[ Parent ]

So you think this issue is about YOU personally?

Brilliant.

Cynic, n.  A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.  
-Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

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by: QScribe @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 16:33:27 PM CST

[ Parent ]

LOL. What is this, the new meme?

"It's not about YOU"

But since you asked, yes, pretty much everything is about me on one level or another.

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by: Pollyanna @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 19:59:25 PM CST

[ Parent ]

Tyra

This video is the first Tyra interview I've seen. I was favorably impressed. She used his own words to phrase what he said in the reality he saw, which is a real talent that any psychologist would fully appreciate. Reality always wins in the end.

She probed areas more deeply to get to the heart of the matter. When he explained what he thought about males, she went on the ask about what he thought about females "down there." His talk about a cave that he might enter and never come out of was quite revealing and rather a hoot.

In fact several of his comments gave me a chuckle, but none so much as what he said during the last ten seconds of the video.

 

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by: Bill Ware @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 09:28:49 AM CST

Really?!?

I have a time constraint about me right now, as I'm getting ready for work, but I feel I need to see this discussion continue. What I find most most suprising in your comment is the very same segment you refer to her was disgusting to me at the most. I find it to be too subjectifying of homosexual orientation. I inwardly debated for over 40 years of my life what there was to accept about same sex attraction and the "caves" and "flashlights" quickly became secondary in need to consider, not as central to the subject as she makes it here. In fairness, I had to leave from watching the clip towards the end of her in audience interview of her guest's prior girlfriend. I could identify with an allusion to entring a cave that one could enter and not leave, but my sexuality is beyond choosing whether I "stick it" in the "cave" or "fudge tunnel"

Take what you can from that and dissect me. I would like to have this conversation opened up more and continue.

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by: Bouncer @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 22:37:01 PM CST

[ Parent ]

I thought Tyra did a good job

I watch her show on occasion and this was not the typical Tyra Show.  It was not about her in any way, and she did touch on some great subjects.  I watched all the clips on Jeremy's site and to be honest, having come from the same background as some of these kids, I could identify with their feelings.  One must also realize that these are in fact KIDS.  They are dealing with issues that are new to them and they are reacting as many of us did when we first discovered our sexuality.  

Tyra does say that it isn't fair to put a heterosexual woman through an ex-gay marriage.  She also tells the one man who went to the pray away the gay conference that he should have gone to an I am gay and I love myself conference instead, and that she was sure his father wanted his money back from the ex-gay conference.  

Even the couple who is a gay man/straight woman said they wouldn't wish their own relationship on anyone else as it is not healthy and they are contemplating a split for the sake of their childs happiness and well being.  

All in all I think that Tyra did a good job of showing how there is certain societal pressure for us to be straight, and how, even amongst gay people, there are stereotypes of what we are and what we should be.  I think it shows a side of this argument that is much more respectful of gay people than most would think by the topic title.  It also showed the silliness and injurious nature of the ex gay programs, but only just.    

The trollish sounding blogger formerly known as BURNSEY

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by: R.K. Wright @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 10:00:40 AM CST

People like this exist, so why not put people like this on a talk show?

Tyra's no genius, so the repeated "gay lifestyle" mentions grated, but consider the source.  Other than that, her entire message was that these guys are wrong to hate themselves and that there's nothing wrong with being gay.  Her secondary message was that if you're a straight girl, don't waste your time.  All that sounds sensible to me.

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by: diablorobotico @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 10:19:17 AM CST

Gay Lifestyle

Maybe I'm just becoming inured to it, but there are certain contexts when the phrase "gay lifestyle" irks me less than it used to.

When Tyra uses it, above, I hear her basically saying that the "gay lifestyle" equates to "being openly gay."  When used by a fundie, what's offensive is that it equates sexual orientation with choice ... and so, while I didn't CHOOSE to be GAY, I did CHOOSE to be OUT ... and if being OUT is a lifestyle, I guess I'm okay with that.

All in all, I think Tyra did a pretty good job here.  She did begin by saying flat-out that the homophobic comments were "disturbing" and she did challenge her guests on some of their more confusing views.

I can't help but wonder if the gays who have a problem with Tyra's performance here are upset because she treated people with whom she disagrees with such respect.  She was very respectful, even when disagreeing with them or posing challenging questions.  Personally, I think that's a virtue; I saw her really trying to understand what got these kids to this kind of thinking, and doing so with a lot of compassion, all the while not giving an inch to her beliefs that gay people are just fine the way they are.  It's a difficult balancing act, and I was pleasantly surprised by how well she handled it.

"There are two kinds of people in this world -- the kind who separate the world into two kinds of people, and those who don't."  -- Gloria Steinem

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by: red7eric @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 11:25:34 AM CST

[ Parent ]

choice

The 3 men on the show have a choice to openly gay or not. Just because they choose to not be to be openly gay doesn't mean they hate themselves. Most people believe being gay is wrong. Usally when most people think something it's right. They were raised in households that didn't accept being gay. They don't accept being gay so they are following there beliefs. Just because you feel something doesn't mean you have to act on it. The choice to keep the love and respect of your family is not a bad one. Espically since the majority of the world thinks being gay is bad. If they didn't have families to think about they would probally make different choices. But the choice they made now is still their's to make.

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by: salome17 @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 20:33:27 PM CST

[ Parent ]

Straight from the desk of Exodus or Love Won Out.

Nice to see that the idiots at Exodus and Love Won Out read Pam's House Blend and take the time to come to the comment sections to concern troll and try to sell their homo-no-mo snake oil.

salome17, your comment is ridiculous.  From the poor grammar and illogical reasoning I have to assume that "17" is your age.

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by: Zeke @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 21:47:32 PM CST

[ Parent ]

yea

i am 17 but still everyone is very judgmental of them. Life is hard.

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by: salome17 @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 22:02:06 PM CST

[ Parent ]

unfair

I never said what they were doing was right.

Isn't it part of civil right having the choice to come out or not come out. They chose not to come out.

Plus, I expressed my opinion it's unfair to call me names or dismiss my statement because of my age. That shows your own immaturity.

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by: salome17 @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 22:14:45 PM CST

[ Parent ]

It's not unfair at all and in about ten or so years you'll know why.

Parts of your comment were very ignorant; especially the parts where you claim that people should just be left alone to hate themselves and buy into a lot of the bigotry, ignorance and hatred that they hear just because "most people believe being gay is wrong" or that they should be left alone to try to please their ignorant and bigoted family by denying their truth.  Rather than dismissively calling YOU ignorant I gave you the benefit of the doubt and attributed your ignorance to your age.  Consider my graciousness a gift.

I grew up in this scenario.  My father is a VERY conservative, Republican, fundamentalist Southern Baptist preacher in Mississippi where I grew up.  I tried to do what you suggest is a vialble option and it just about killed me, LITERALLY.  The day I discovered that I DIDN'T have to live a lie to make my family and "the majority of people" who hate gay people was THE day I began to live.  I don't stand idoly by while I see others suffering through what I went through.  I WAS those boys from Tyra's show.  I LIVED it so please refrain from trying to educate me about how we should feel or respond to them.

I will agree that we should respond more kindly and thoughtfully but I TOTALLY disagree with you that we should just accept them and even support them in their futile and desparate attempt avoid the bigotry and homophobia of our society by trying to be something they're not.  We have to rally around them.  Lift them up.  Show them that they need to stop turning to raging homophobes to get their information about the gay community.  There is NOTHING you can't find in the gay community.  If all you are finding is sex crazed drug abusers then SHAME ON YOU.  You found just what you looked for.  If you want a "traditional" family but with a person of the same sex, seek those people out.  Be WITH what you want to BE.

I get sick to death of these "ex-gays" blaming all of THEIR bad DECISIONS and life CHOICES on their homosexuality.  If you're a loser then it's because you chose to be a loser not because you are gay.

These boys also need to seek therapy of find a good gay mentor to help them get past all of the negative gay stereotypes and myths that they have bought hook, line and sinker.

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by: Zeke @ Sun Feb 22, 2009 at 19:18:44 PM CST

[ Parent ]

That's the disturbing

part to me, Zeke. This isn't Exodous, though, it's "gay-friendly" (or not) Tyra Banks.

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by: kevinchi @ Sun Feb 22, 2009 at 02:01:21 AM CST

[ Parent ]

Tyra Banks

Tyra Banks is very gay friendly. She tried to tell them to accept being gay. On her model show two of the judges are gay.  

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by: salome17 @ Sun Feb 22, 2009 at 09:56:33 AM CST

[ Parent ]

Are you kidding?

Just because they choose to not be to be openly gay doesn't mean they hate themselves.

At the very best, it means they think leading lives of shame and timidity is preferable to lives of honesty.  That may not be self-hate, but it's close enough.

The only saving grace is that the guests on the show are all kids and may come to their senses in time.  But being paraded on TV for a quick ratings boost won't help that happen.  

Cynic, n.  A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.  
-Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

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by: QScribe @ Sun Feb 22, 2009 at 11:40:33 AM CST

[ Parent ]

words

Words fail me. It is painful to watch people whom hate themsleves so much they are prepared to destory themselves.

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by: Robert M @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 11:32:00 AM CST

Not bad, just sad!

I watched the whole thing, and I have to say, I think Tyra actually responded well (though I thought her poll question at the end was a bit disconcerting).  What is so disturbing about the whole show is how uneducated these folks are about sexual orientation, gender presentation, etc.  I wish they would have the chance to think outside their experiences and observations (aka CRITICALLY) about what life is all about, what makes them happy, and how to just be confident about who they are!

I offered my own blog post about this at: http://zackfordblogs.wordpress...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood... and I blogged about the trail I blazed...

http://zackfordblogs.com

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by: pianozack @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 11:41:43 AM CST

Tyra has the tendency to make me twitch

I saw the original posting and felt like she gave me a big ol b*tch slap.

BUT - her show is quickly sinking in the ratings and I think this was just a stunt to get some ratings, fast.  Tyra has somewhat of a gay following herself, she may not have aired this show to hurt gays intentionally, but maybe to shed some light towards some issues that teenagers are facing these days.

School bullies, religious zealot parents, out of control politicians?  I can understand why these younger guys may feel ambivalent towards their natural sexual nature.

What she could have done better?  I think she should have probed more into the individual environment factors seriously affecting these boys - emotional and mental environment factors I mean.

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by: vwboy81 @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 12:01:21 PM CST

to be honest

Tyra does a great job with what she's got, and frankly is encouraging an honest conversation on our sexual lives and mores, something that we in the US lack. We either make it a subject of tawdry comments and clowning or we give it a religiously-sacred stage. It's kind of like we're being children, who giggle at the word sex, butt, penis, breasts... Even if G-d is there (which I personally tend to believe), it doesn't mean that we have to be and behave like hypocrites or children.

Btw, if you'd like to avoid obvious and troubling self-hate skip the first guy and go directly to the second. It's just the first guy who really shocked me.

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by: avocado @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 15:18:01 PM CST

Not honest...FAKE!

What will it take to convince people that these shows are all staged? It has been common knowledge for 15 years.

Here's part of an interview with Joshua Gamson who wrote Freaks Talk Back, a book about tabloid TV talk shows published over 10 years ago:

Question: The recent brouhaha about the Jerry Springer Show suggests that we ought to be suspicious about everything portrayed on these tabloid TV talk shows. What do you think? You talked to hundreds of guests, producers, and viewers in your research for this book. How much is staged? What's credible, what isn't?

Joshua Gamson: The short answer is: a lot of it is loosely scripted, and there's plenty of room for fake guests to make it on the air, but the vast majority of guests are "real" people who want to be on television. The producers are very competitive with one another, they have to produce multiple shows a week, they field calls from thousands of prospective guests, and they don't have all that much invested in "the truth." So it's easy enough to fake them out. But from the producers' point of view, the point is less to be credible than to be amusing and at least plausibly true.

But getting all upset about fake guests heads off in the wrong direction. Talk shows live in between "fake" and "real." The producers need things to be predictable; they need to know pretty much how things will play out, so they plan it and script it and coach people. But on the other hand, the talk shows want emotion; so you have to let people depart from the script to get emotion that's spontaneous and real. Producers often rev up their guests; they keep them in separate dressing rooms, tell them how the other person said these awful things about them, encourage them to be aggressive and to get in there and say what they need to say. So in the end, people are playing themselves, extra-big, extra-angry. Fake-real. I think that's some of the appeal. It's real, but it's a show; it's authentic, but it's also a performance.

[...]

Question: Pain, pride, and disgust. That sort of recalls the word "freaks" in your book's title. Do you see these shows as exploiting gays, lesbians, bisexuals-or anyone with a "different" sexual preference or lifestyle? Are you offended by how gay people are treated and portrayed on these shows?

Gamson: Offended and thrilled and disgusted and elated. It's a given that these shows exploit people. I mean, commercial TV, especially "reality" TV, including the news, is about exploiting people for profits. On talk shows it's mainly the "different" who are used to attract an audience which is then sold to advertisers. And of course that often offends me. Nobody gets treated particularly well by the shows, and the way lesbian, transsexual, gay, bisexual people are often set up on talk shows-examples abound in the book-often disturbs and upsets to me. But exploitation is the starting point for me, not the conclusion, partly because so much else is going on at the same time. I'm interested in the fact that exploitation is exactly what has increased the diversity of racial and economic backgrounds of the gay people you see on the screen, for example, or in the fact that anti-gay bigots are turned into "freaks" by the show as well-often in ways that make the sex and gender outsiders look just fine.

These programs are ENTERTAINMENT -- not journaism! Tyra Banks isn't a journalist. She is the star of a tabloid TV talk show.  

When you look for the bad in mankind, expecting to find it, you surely will.

- Abraham Lincoln.

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by: Fritz @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 15:41:30 PM CST

[ Parent ]

the word honest

was in reference to what I was saying as my perception of things... I was not talking about the honesty of producers or participants on the show. And frankly, I don't care as long as we can move away from the behavior of Jerry Springer crowd and have an honest conversation and national debate.

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by: avocado @ Mon Feb 23, 2009 at 10:58:24 AM CST

[ Parent ]

The dsiturbing thing

about Tyra's emphasis on (let's face it) controversal topics within the gay community itself, is that she is viewed, for the most part, as being "gay friendly." Yet shows like this give further talking points to the fundies along the lines of:

"If someone like Tyra Banks, whom the sodomite activists have given awards to, is exposing the destructiveness of the sodomite lifestyle, how bad do you think it really is?"

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by: kevinchi @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 16:43:30 PM CST

"disturbing"

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by: kevinchi @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 16:43:56 PM CST

[ Parent ]

If Tyra is so "gay-friendly"

why didn't she have at least one guest on this show who is out and happy?  Not necessarily to argue with the other guests but just in the interest of presenting a fully-rounded picture of gay life?

Cynic, n.  A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.  
-Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

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by: QScribe @ Sun Feb 22, 2009 at 11:43:30 AM CST

[ Parent ]

I didn't say that she was "gay friendly"

I said "seems." Perception is everything. I agree with you that she could have provided a much better rounded picture.

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by: kevinchi @ Sun Feb 22, 2009 at 12:06:28 PM CST

[ Parent ]

rather I said "she is viewed as..."

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by: kevinchi @ Sun Feb 22, 2009 at 12:07:27 PM CST

[ Parent ]

The Oprah Wannabee....

is about twenty years behind the times with her selected show topics. People who are anti-gay? Really? SHOCKING!Gosh, just one ground breaking show after another. I can't get enough of this horse's ass - NOT!

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by: jiminportlandoregon @ Sat Feb 21, 2009 at 17:11:49 PM CST