NY State Elects First Openly Bisexual Legislator

Lousy focus on sex.

Why not declare, whenever McCain speaks, "Adulterer talks!"

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by: Holly Capote @ Wed Jun 06, 2007 at 08:49:34 AM CDT

gotta

love the NYPost!  I cringe some mornings when I walk by their street dispensers and see the headlines.

Electricity's for light bulbs!

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by: n8nyc @ Wed Jun 06, 2007 at 09:36:54 AM CDT

[ Parent ]

"Openly" Does Not Mean "Practicing"

Let the record reflect that Kellner has an opposite-sex partner.

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by: KipEsquire @ Wed Jun 06, 2007 at 08:53:05 AM CDT

Then he's even more impressive, for he could have gone stealth.

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by: Holly Capote @ Wed Jun 06, 2007 at 09:03:29 AM CDT

[ Parent ]

Exactly...

Speaking as a bisexual with a boyfriend, I know that people make assumptions about my sexuality all the time, and you know, it can be oh so easy to just let them.
I commend him on his courage and honesty.


Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls.

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by: That Queer Chick @ Wed Jun 06, 2007 at 09:13:08 AM CDT

[ Parent ]

Bisexuality is tough

When I was trying to be straight, I thought that I might be bi at first because I was genuinely attracted to some women. Then I became convinced that I was gay and that my opposite-sex attractions were really just an intense desire to make myself straight. Now I have been openly gay for a few years, but I am still occasionally attracted to women - and not just individual women, but women in sort of an abstract fantasy sense.

For awhile my explanation was that everyone is a little bit bi, but most people have a dominant attraction. For me that would definately be men. However, many conversations have convinced me that a lot of people are not at all bisexual, or at least are not conscious of it. I think that there is something fundamentally different between the "I want to be with her" (so to speak) feeling that I sometimes get and the "I want to be like her" feeling that some of my gay friends have.

I still don't like to call myself bisexual though, for two reasons. One is that bisexuality is sometimes priveleged, at least in the gay world, because it is perceived as being a little closer to straight (somehow). I don't know why gay people fetishize straight men, but it seems to be a common response among minorities toward the dominant majority.  I don't like the way that bisexuality is worn like a badge of honor.

Second, the label seems to make some straight women very uncomfortable.  People understand "straight" and they understand "gay" but they want boxes and predictability. Women don't want to date a bi guy and invest a lot of energy in him, only to see him (predictably) turn out to be gay. Also, women don't want to have a gay friend suddenly confess an attraction or put the moves on her.

I wish that we were at a place in our society where you could just be attracted to who you are attracted to and build the relationships that emerge without navigating a minefield of legal rights, perceptions of normalcy, and labels.

It is very encouraging to see someone with the honesty and integrity to reject the boxes, especially as a politician. It would probably be much easier to run as an openly gay candidate.

What the hell was I doing in Oaxaca in 1992, on the eve of the Zapatista revolution?

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by: Cambridge Kid @ Wed Jun 06, 2007 at 09:49:47 AM CDT

[ Parent ]

You're right

Bisexuality can be difficult. When I was in high school I was really confused. I would see a pretty girl and be drawn to her and think "Oh I'm straight", but then I'd see one of the football players and think "No I'm not!"(LOL).

Growing up all I heard and saw for most of my childhood and teen years was gay or straight, never bi. Even now in college it can a little difficult talking about opposite-sex attractions with gay friends(because I'm not sure they can relate) and same-sex attractions with straight friends(for the same reason).

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by: kneil86 @ Wed Jun 06, 2007 at 16:01:07 PM CDT

[ Parent ]

Re: "Openly" doesn't mean "Practicing"

I think it's terrific that Kellner is out as bisexual while having an opposite-sex partner. He could have closeted himself and appeared straight and not risked facing all the biphobia out there, including prejudice among gays and lesbians. Instead, he took a big risk in being out as bi and refusing to be invisible. That takes courage.

If to be counted as queer one must have a same-sex partner, then a lot of queer people will not be counted, including many gays and lesbians (for example, those who aren't currently in a sexual relationship). I hope our vision of the GLBT community can be more inclusive than that. We all should be able to love whomever we love without facing prejudice, especially within our own community.

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by: Beth Wright @ Wed Jun 06, 2007 at 09:09:14 AM CDT