Sharing stories with the Chapel Hill HS Gay-Straight Alliance

by: Pam Spaulding

Wed Oct 15, 2008 at 09:00:00 AM EDT

I was invited by the advisor for the GSA, chemistry instructor and strong ally Alan Rissberger (known as "the Riz" to the folks). He has created a casual, comfortable and nurturing environment for the young people to share their stories. I think it's a huge testament to Rissberger and out gay social studies teacher and co-sponsor Tom Greene, that the students were able to open up to me during my visit with the group.

Some of the GSA members are fully out as gay, lesbian, bisexual or allies (no transfolk are in the group at this time, which has had as many as 50 members show up), some are out to siblings, but not all family members. Quite a few come from religious families where they know it would cause a great deal of strife to come out at this time.

They hold their regular meeting during lunch period on Mondays from 12:20 - 1:05, so it was an all-too-brief gathering, but we did get to do quite a bit of Q&A with me. We had about 20 young people at this meeting. I shared what it was like to blog about LGBT issues, my coming out process, being black and gay, the political realities of being LGBT in North Carolina -- and the rights we don't have, etc. I also had a chance to ask some of them questions as well, since it's been a looooong time since I was in high school ('77-'81).

But before we get to that, a couple of videos that I was able to take^*. Tom Greene, who is relatively new to CHHS, spoke to me about the importance of the club to the students just before the Q&A:

Greene mentioned during the Q&A that he and his partner are disappointed at the status of statewide LGBT rights in NC (as in, we don't have any). I noted that Kate and I are in the same boat, she works for the state, and so she could be fired for being gay, there are no partner benefits. I work for Duke, a private university that extends benefits to same-sex partners and has an anti-discrimination policy that includes sexual orientation and gender identity; I mentioned to students that many of the corporations in the state do so as well.

Our problem, like many Red and Purple states, is that legislatures are lagging behind the times. And the way to change that is to register and get out the vote to retire the fossilized lawmakers in the General Assembly who are standing in the way of equality, either because of ignorance or bigotry.

After the GSA meeting, senior Kat Gipson didn't have a class right away, so she took time to sit with me and discuss the group, life in school for LGBT young men and women, what her plans are for the future (being out in college, and on the job one day), and what it's like to be LGBT and in her faith community. I'm still editing that long segment, but I wanted to put this other clip out there because it is powerful -- Kat shares her personal story of being gay-bashed in school; it forced her out of the closet to her parents, and spurred her to join the GSA.

Pam Spaulding: Tell me now, what was the incident that made you want to join the GSA?

Kat Gipson: When I was in tenth grade, I had a girlfriend and we had been dating for about 3 months. It was fine until, in the hallway I started getting comments- I would just hear them over my shoulder- quick words like, you know, like "effing lesbian", or "we don't need people like you at our school" or "you need to, like...". Just random things regarding my sexuality and threats.

I actually got a death threat at one point, right in front of the administrator's office, so every time I would turn around really quickly and no one would be there. Because it would be like, in a crowded hall of students, and I just wouldn't see anybody. Or I would see people walking away. And... so... this went on for awhile, about 2 weeks, and there were several incidents.

And then there was one day that I left a class early because I asked if I could go to the bathroom and my teacher said, "Just take your stuff and just go ahead" so it was right before the bell rang. And I was coming out of my bathroom, the bathroom, and I was walking this way. And as I was turning, I saw out of the corner of my eye, just figures, I mean they all had their hoods up and I was like, "Whatever"...

Pam Spaulding: The sweat hoodies?

Kat Gipson: "They're just coming out of class; it's not a big deal."

I turned and started walking down the hall and then I started hearing footsteps, like RUNNING, and I turned around really quick, and someone grabbed the side of my face, and slammed me into a locker, and I had a group of people around me, just pushing me, like continuously into a locker, saying stuff like, "Fag", "Lesbian", like, "Get out of our school", all these different things like...

I just curled up in a ball and covered up my head, because at that point I just didn't care who it was, right then. I was just like, "Don't hurt me". And then the bell rang. And they all just got up and ran down the hall.

And at that moment I was so terrified that I was shaking and I got my stuff- I got up and I went to my teacher, who I trusted alot, and told her. She took me immediately to Mr. Herseburger, and he took us directly to the security. The administrator didn't do anything, um, throughout the entire time, nothing-      

Pam Spaudling: Did your parents speak to them?

Kat Gipson: My parents spoke to them; they came in and this was when I was, when I had to come out to my parents, because it was a legal issue. And so um, I did have to tell them, you know, "So, hi guys... A- I got beat up at school and B- I'm gay, by the way, that's why".

And so they came in- we had this huge conference, with like my counselors and the security guard. We looked over the surveillance tapes, um, we couldn't actually see- there wasn't a tape of them beating up, but we could see behind me in the hallways. And I would turn around really quickly. And I'd say, "Right there. Right there. That's the person." But we never caught their faces.

So this went on for 2 weeks, maybe, with people like reviewing tapes, and, but during this time my parents wrote several letters to the administration, came in several different times to talk to our head principal, who is no longer our principal, and um, nothing happened regarding that.

And after a little while, they had a police (officer) following me to my classrooms, at a distance, um, just to see if it happened again and it didn't. So after that, it just kinda faded away into nothing.  

Pam Spaulding: And no one came forward to say that they did it, no one identified who had...

Kat Gipson: Nope, nope.

Pam Spaudling: And the investigation went nowhere.

And for folks out there, this is why we need an anti-bullying bill passed in this state.

Kat Gipson: Yes, yes.

Pam Spaulding: Thanks!

Kat's story is extremely relevant here in NC as an anti-bullying bill died in the General Assembly, only a few votes short -- if all of the Democrats who had promised to support the bill had been there to vote, it would have passed. They failed students like Kat Gipson. As I asked then -- how on earth is it controversial to protect all children from harassment and violence?

Since our meeting time was so brief, I've been invited back to engage in more discussion with the students -- and I would love to do so - and to shoot more video interviews; I would like to record more personal stories. In fact, our state legislators need to see them; they need to grow spines to support safety in schools for all students, no loopholes, no excuses. They need to show the maturity of these young people.

And this is one reason why -- in her video, Kat mentioned that she would like to move to Portland, Oregon once she's out of college and ready to forge ahead on her career path; she doesn't feel that she can remain in this state, or in the South, for that matter, as long as states in this region don't get with the program in terms of legislating full civil equality for LGBTs. Some of the best and brightest will choose to migrate to states where their full rights and relationships are recognized. That is a bottom-line reality that our state government needs to think hard about.

FYI, Kat and her parents readily signed a release allowing me to publish our video interviews; several other students did as well. Getting a release is obviously necessary because 1) they are minors and 2) some of the students are in the GSA against their parents' wishes.

In my last post about the GSA prior to this visit, Blenders left a lot of questions for students in the thread. I told them to sign up for accounts on the Blend so they could answer them here for you. The Qs are below the fold. Hopefully they will be able to fill in the blanks for you; they may have to wait until they get home (the school's filter blocks the Blend at times - gee, CHHS admin -- that's not fair).

Questions for CHHS GSA, 10/13/2008

1. What do their friends think of them being in the GSA?

2. Do their siblings know you are gay (or an ally), what about your parents?

3. Do they plan to go to college locally, and if not why not?

4. Are any of them in Varsity Sports?

5. "Have you ever heard of Mike Ensley?" If the answer is "no", warn them to keep an eye out for a grown man from Exodus International, who's begging high school boys to "spy" on GSA's and report to him what they hear/see.  

6. Was there an objection from parents or other teachers to form this club? As we've seen, sometimes that's a serious problem.

7. What is the ratio of gay to straight in this school's club?

8. What are your hopes for the future?

9. What are your concerns about how LGBT people are treated in your school and city, and how do you think you can solve those problems?

10. In my country (UK) there are LesBiGay Alliances - groups similar to a GSA - in most colleges (US upper high) universities (US college) and bigger secondary schools (US lower high) however they often don't let straight students or pupils join. What do you think are the advantages of letting straight people join a GSA?

11. How do you think you as individuals, and the GSA as a group, can help LGBT students with homo- or transphobic parents?

12. If you identify as LGBT, do feel like being LGBT is a barrier to your future/career or do you feel something else may be more of a struggle in your life (race, education level, financial problems, etc.)

13. If you are perceived as LGBT at school-related activities, when/where do you feel most vulnerable?  When/Where do you feel most safe?

14. What year do you think there will be marriage equality in North Carolina?

15. Do they realize how important gay friendly and inclusive elected officals are even on their school board.

16. Are they aware of laws which do not include them (workplace antidiscrimination laws) and/or how do they feel about laws which exclude them as citizens from equal protection and rights under the law.

17. Why do you think North Carolina has so little in the way of legal protections and civil rights for the GBLT community? Do you think all the emphasis on marriage is helping in this regard?

18. Do you feel the adults in the your GBLT community emphasize fitting in and "normalness" over embracing one's individualness?

19. Do you feel like your part of the world will become more tolerant in the future and do you feel any responsibility to help make that happen?

20. Do you see any connection between GBLT issues/challenges and the issues that other kinds of minorities face?

21. Do you think there will always be a need for this kind of group in your school?

22. If this group would have been called simply the Gay Alliance would you still have joined?

23. I also would like to know if these kids have had any self-defense classes?

24. I know with computers libraries are a quaint notion, but it might be a revealing question. Do their parents allow them to visit LGBT sites online?

25. I also wonder if they get any peer pressures from religious Right organizations, or churches like Ron Luce approaching them?

26. Bullying? A little? A lot?  How does the administration address it?

27. Are you eager to register to vote on your 18th birthday?

28. How do you deal with fundamentalist-type religious beliefs on the part of contemporaries or family members?

29. Are they able to go to school-sponsored dances, such as homecoming and prom, with a same-sex date?