| In the Tips section: 1. Keep an open mind. You might learn something.
2. Everyone is different. What I say here may not apply to every situation.
3. Know that racism is part of our culture. Don't be ashamed if you mess up. Everyone makes mistakes. That's how we learn.
Number 3 is the biggest hurdle when discussing and addressing race, and I've said that many times before on this blog. It's a result of people feeling insecure about having open conversations, asking what might be "stupid" questions, and worrying about whether a defensive reaction will occur.
Generally speaking, we can't get very far if people cannot even admit that racism is still part of our culture, and that one can be racist without putting a hood on and burning a cross. Look at Michael Richards. One of the striking things about his unhinged apology on Letterman was that he felt compelled to say he wasn't racist. "I'm not a racist. That's what's so insane about this," Richards said, his tone becoming angry and frustrated as he defended himself. This after saying this:"Shut up! Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f------ fork up your a--...Throw his ass out. He's a nigger! He's a nigger! He's a nigger! A nigger, look, there's a nigger!" Those comments obviously indicate that Richards either must have been possessed by a racist demon or he was just "playing one" onstage that night, right?
The real problem is that Richards was more concerned about being labeled racist because contemporary society has deemed that label the sign of a fringe element, a social pariah.
Had he been more self-reflective he might have something more sane, such as "I realize that I am a product of a culture steeped in a toxic history regarding race, and my outburst -- and the response to it -- is a teachable moment. It's important to think about how we feel about race and how our internal views about race play out in our daily lives. I intend to do so, because there was no excuse for what I said on stage."
Instead, his advisers felt it was necessary for him to ring up Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson (surely these guys must represent all black people -- argh, this is so tired) to beg for mercy. That isn't productive.
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One suggestion that I'd add to the About.com list of remedies and ways to combat racism is a difficult one for many people, and one I believe is the most effective way to bridge the gap -- get to know, as a close friend -- someone of a different race or culture. Not a work colleague or a neighbor you share casual conversations with, but to push past your comfort zone -- make friends you can be close enough to that you can ask and be asked those direct questions about race in an environment of trust.
The laws may have deemed segregation illegal, but in many ways the social self-segregation continues because few are confident enough to challenge human nature and step outside of their comfort zones. In this respect, the same can be said about dealing with homophobia -- one on one exposure at a personal level to "difference" allows open and productive conversations that educate.
The big difference with dealing with homophobia, of course, is the fact the laws have not caught up to deem institutionalized anti-gay discrimination unacceptable at a federal level. In this case, the law is often fragmented along red state/blue state lines, and the cultural comfort gap in discussing homophobia can be wide. Gays living in progressive metropolitan areas often forget that their brothers and sisters in flyover country aren't always able to live their lives without fear of being persecuted or fired for being gay, let alone being the target of homophobic attacks and social ostracism. Out gays and allies who are willing to educate themselves on equality issues are sorely needed in areas where conversations and building of bridges need to take place. |
