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NC: wingnut - 'save' marriage or there will be man-robot nuptials

by: Pam Spaulding

Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 14:00:00 PM EST

Here we go, people. This is what we are up against here the batsh*t wingnuts were bused in to rile up the bible-beaters. Read the insane bleatings of David Gibbs, who was at yesterday's fundie rally.

Two well-known conservative Christian commentators who spoke at the rally described a breakdown of society should gay couples be allowed to marry -- including a rise in single-parent households and in the number of dependents wanting Social Security and health insurance benefits.
David Gibbs III, a lawyer who in 2005 fought to keep brain-damaged Terri Schiavo on life support, told rally participants gay marriage would "open the door to unusual marriage in North Carolina.
"Why not polygamy, or three or four spouses?" Gibbs asked. "Maybe people will want to marry their pets or robots."
...Sen. Jim Jacumin, a Republican representing Burke and Caldwell counties and one of the co-sponsors of the bill, read most of Genesis 2, the biblical passage in which woman is created out of Adam's rib to be his "helper."

WTF? That's a new one -- and so it's back to the fundamental difference between reality-based people and the fundamentalist extremists -- they don't believe marriage is an arrangement between consenting adults. Apparently the man is in control and the woman is simply chattel.

Pam Spaulding :: NC: wingnut - 'save' marriage or there will be man-robot nuptials

Tags: North Carolina, Amendments, Marriage equality, (All Tags)

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NC: wingnut - 'save' marriage or there will be man-robot nuptials | 33 comments

Wasn't this the subject of a Futurama episode?

I can't help but think that's where they got the idea.

I am the lizard queen!

by: RainbowPhoenix @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 13:12:38 PM CST

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No, I think Murphy Brown clued him in.

You can't pay people to be this batshitty. I say give this guy a megaphone on the state house steps - he'll scare away even the marginally sane bigots. There was a guy in MA during the amendment struggles there that kept yelling "string 'er up!" with reference to Chief Justice Margaret Marshall, the author of the Goodridge decision. He really did a great job discrediting the haters for showing what really lies beneath. You know, Buttars-style.

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Lurleen on Twitter.

by: Lurleen @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 13:29:34 PM CST

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That's right!

I got metal fever! METAL FEVER!

by: Chris Tucker @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 22:02:43 PM CST

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Oh crap, they're on to us!

Damn! Now my dream of a legally valid polyamorous marriage of robot husbands & wives will never be realized!! shakes fist Curse you, fundie wingnuts!!

by: hardcorps80204 @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 13:26:14 PM CST

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How do you deal with the rust problems?

Is it just me, or are robot lube and human lube incompatible. Like oil and water, literally. I find that my human lube leaves my robot's man-tool with an unsightly blush of rust. Any suggestions? Maybe I'll check in with Rush Limbaugh or Bob Dole - they seem to be on the forefront of artificial sex enhancements.

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by: Lurleen @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 13:35:25 PM CST

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Proper Human Robot relations

Mineral Oil would work best (since Baby Oil is, essentially, Mineral Oil with perfume in it). Also, a nice, light, coat of a colored silicon paint could help (and maybe spice things up a bit!). Oh, and in case it comes up, male-type models are Androids and female types are knoen asd Gynoids.

by: EdgyB @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 14:55:13 PM CST

[ Parent ]

And the males

would inject their camshafts between the females' solenoids and inject a little motor oil into their mixtures.

Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
-Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

by: QScribe @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 15:34:01 PM CST

[ Parent ]

Well, if that's what they're into...

I'm not going to judge my mecha brothers and sisters! :)

by: EdgyB @ Thu Mar 05, 2009 at 13:52:29 PM CST

[ Parent ]

What's with

the language used in every piece of journalism?

If we're "allowed" to marry?

Oh thank you gracious and holy and righteous heterosexuals for allowing us poor confused queers to partake of privilege (rights to you) that we clearly we are undeserving of.

You are saints among men. And we didn't even have to ask for you to refrain from killing us!

by: Bachalon @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 13:42:59 PM CST

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If I want to

Marry a robot I will da*n it!!! Bleep bloop bleep Oh R2 why cant they understand were just in love...LOLOLOL. Ok this has to be the biggest "wingnut" ever. Pam thanks for the laugh, lol my sides hurtin. If this argument actually rings true with people here in NC then I pity our future. I suspected they were getting desperatebut this is just pitifull.

by: ravenscrafte @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 13:52:49 PM CST

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I thought R2 and 3PO were already married. They acted like it from the very first scene in 1977--I just assumed... They probably didn't have a big, fancy wedding; just quietly exchanged vows in the back of some Imperial ship.

Tax the Christian Taliban!

by: Wolfgang @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 14:52:43 PM CST

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So if I tell them my robot is 'one woman' I could marry her now?

by: Scott_NC @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 14:00:03 PM CST

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It's OK

as long as it is an opposite-gender robot.

Dena

Cisgender. Because "Genetic" (or non) is so 2006.

by: Denabeth @ Thu Mar 05, 2009 at 02:29:45 AM CST

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That's their best argument?

I thought I had kept my evil plan a secret, but that dastardly David Gibbs III found it out just in the nick of time. I had no intention of marrying my partner of 14 years. That was just a sly diversion so I could marry my one true love... my Dyson DC25 vacuum with powered hand tool! Damn you Mr. Gibb, damn you to hell!

by: obtusegoose @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 14:20:28 PM CST

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polygamy

Uhm isnt the deffinition of polygamy multiple spouses?
Maybe he means polygamy, with multiple robots?

by: ravenscrafte @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 14:31:55 PM CST

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Taking a page from /.

Wouldn't that be clustering?

Imagine a Beowulf cluster of these!

by: RadarGrrl @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 20:10:24 PM CST

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Dogs and Cats Living Together!

Mass Hysteria!

by: Grandjester @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 14:33:26 PM CST

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Oh, when will we think of the kittens!

The overwhelming number of kitten-molesters are canine-American males. WE must think of the kittens! Oh Lord, we must!

Besides, if we permit canine-Americans to marry, they will effectively silence Christians.

Next we'll be hearing about dog-robot marriages. Where will it end?

Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
-Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

by: QScribe @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 15:41:10 PM CST

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Here comes the Vibe,

Oh the fun of planning my wedding marrying my vibrator. Can energizer batteries be the best men, or better yet, I will get the rechargable batteries so I go green.

Now for the vows, Do you Mr. Vibe take the Happy Cat to have and hold you in place as she satisfies her sexual needs, Do you agree to enter into her on demand and never habe any objection what so ever?

NO, wait a minute, this wont work, I have like 34 vibrators. I need a robot to use them on me. DAMN, back to the drawing board.

If I make sense? it was quite by accident.

by: HappyCat @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 14:46:49 PM CST

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34 vibrators?

Isn't that polygamy?

Dena

Cisgender. Because "Genetic" (or non) is so 2006.

by: Denabeth @ Thu Mar 05, 2009 at 02:40:47 AM CST

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Man-Robot??

These nutballs have been watching WAY too much Jason X.

by: bluegrassfool @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 15:07:47 PM CST

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Or Bicentennial Man

>^..^<

by: KatRose @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 22:38:48 PM CST

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Gibbs must have seen

the pole-dancing robots and gotten all flustered about the concept.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/ent...

by: Rae @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 15:18:04 PM CST

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Absent?

Do you think Mr. Gibbs was absent the day that informed consent was discussed in law school? Or does he just wish to inflame those who are ignorant of the basic requirements of a valid contract? I think we all know the answer.

by: sammyseattle @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 16:06:19 PM CST

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These fundie whack-jobs…

...can't present a reasonable argument or find a sound legal premise for their absurd claims. And to top it off, they quote idiotic rubbish from a religious book.

"To no form of religion is woman indebted for one impulse of freedom, as all alike have taught her inferiority and subjection" - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Peace.

by: peacemonger @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 18:46:20 PM CST

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It's going to get more absurd

The religious wrong are losing their minds because they know they are losing their anti-equality war. Let them keep spewing more and more of their hatred and stupidity. Every time these fools spew it's another nail in their anti-equality coffin.

You can lead a fool to knowledge, but you can't make him think.

by: Dianne @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 22:22:19 PM CST

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Oh dear...

At this point I would like to note that many of my friends and relatives (being from Burke county) said the following "Vote for Jim Jacumin it will get him out of town and he really cant do any harm in Raleigh" no harm my ....

Sam

by: Sam.Lynn @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 18:46:32 PM CST

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Where do I place my order?

One Nichelle Nichols/Uhura robot, Original Series Star Trek. Please include the Mirror, Mirror episode uniform.

One Jeri Ryan/7 of 9 robot. Please include optional metallic blue bodysuit.

Do you accept PayPal?

by: Chris Tucker @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 22:01:22 PM CST

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Hold on a moment...

...I just need some clarification here. Does the divine Miss Gibbs limit her condemnation of man-machine miscegenation to the homosexual variety?

If so, I can marry Rosie from the Jetsons and be just fine. Phew. Was worried there for a minute.

(Oh wait - given the generation gap, might that still constitute pederasty? I mean, not that there's anything wrong if it does; a little good-old-fashioned mentoring from a printed circuit board might be just what I need to turn me into a noble, civic-minded Spartan warrior. Then I'll get to eye-rape King Xerxes in the locker room. Yum, yum).

by: CubPaws2008 @ Wed Mar 04, 2009 at 23:46:40 PM CST

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Possible loophole

Marry a RealDoll...

Dena

Cisgender. Because "Genetic" (or non) is so 2006.

by: Denabeth @ Thu Mar 05, 2009 at 03:02:37 AM CST

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robots

I call Data!

by: typeofkisses @ Fri Mar 06, 2009 at 01:58:06 AM CST

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I got married yesterday, & I'm from NC

& society didn't fall apart? What is going on?

Here are some pics if anyone is interested!
http://www.new.facebook.com/ho...

by: Jake Gellar-Goad @ Sat Mar 07, 2009 at 19:41:55 PM CST

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Save Marriage Relaionship

Premarital counseling is necessary for successful marriage life but this is not always true because no-one can judge future, sometime unacceptable circumstances creates marriage conflicts which is not possible to predict in pre-marriage therapy. You need to do string marriage preparation for long-lasting healthy marriage life. this preparation include tip for enhance communication skills, anger management, tips to maintain trust and intimacy, listening and paying attention of your partner's desires and requirements, friendly enough to share every thing in-between even sexual problems. Psychological advice is essential to change couples state of mind towards developing positive relationship habits. Marriage counselors strictly concentrate on all these things during pre-marital preparation to save marriage relationship.
http://www.marriage-counselors...

by: nitsnitz @ Tue Jun 23, 2009 at 06:09:42 AM CDT

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NC: wingnut - 'save' marriage or there will be man-robot nuptials | 33 comments