I've made it to the initial round for favorite progressive blogger in the Air America Cruise Contest. I have to stay in the Top 5 before the second voting round begins, so your vote is appreciated! First voting round:
The Christian Civic League of Maine's Mike Hein calls Pam's House Blend: "a leading source of radical homosexual propaganda, anti-Christian bigotry, and radical transgender advocacy."
He is "praying that Pam Spaulding will "turn away from her wicked and sinful promotion of homosexual behavior."
(CCLM's web site, 10/15/07)
Ex-gay "Christian" activist James Hartline on Pam:
"I have been mocked over and over again by ungodly and unprincipled anti-christian lesbians."
(from "Six Years In Sodom: From The Journal Of James Hartline," 9/4/2006, written from the "homosexual stronghold" of Hillcrest in San Diego).
"Pam is a 'twisted lesbian sister' and an 'embittered lesbian' of the 'self-imposed gutteral experiences of the gay ghetto.'" -- 9/5/2008
Peter LaBarbera of Americans for Truth Against Homosexuality heartily endorses the Blend, calling Pam:
A "vicious anti-Christian lesbian activist." (Concerned Women for America's radio show [9:15], 1/25/07)
"A nutty lesbian blogger." (MassResistance radio show [16:25], 2/3/07)
Pam's House Blend always seems to find these sick f*cks. The area of the country she is in? The home state of her wife? I know, they are everywhere. Pam just does such a great job of bringing them out into the light.
--Impeach Bush
who monitors yours Bevis ?? Just thought I would drop you a line,so the rest of your life is not wasted.
For those who think the postings about the personal lives of the Pam's House Blend baristas are self-indulgent, this is probably a diary to skip. This is one of those save-for-the-weekend discussion kind of posts, and it's in the spirit of Pam's House Blend being a virtual lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender coffee house -- and in our PHB virtual coffee house, the baristas (I'm a barista!) will occasionally discuss what's going on in our lives.
So that said, on Saturday I posted my diary about finding out I have a normal male karyotype. Today is another a diary about another medical appointment at the Veterans Administration (VA) Medical Center, San Diego, from the past week.
Specifically, Friday was my last appointment at the Weight Control clinic -- they "released" me. For those who haven't been following my weight issues for the past two years, I had Gastric Bypass surgery on February 12th, 2008. From my peak weight of 296 pounds, I've lost about 125 pounds -- I've been maintaining my weight between about 165 and 170 pounds, and have been maintaining that weight range for slightly under a year.
The next "stop" in my treatment regimen is a consult to plastic surgeon for a possible tummy tuck. I have some excess skin around my waist, and I rash a bit underneath the fold of that excess skin. So, although the tummy tuck would be ostensively to treat the propensity I have to rash under the skin fold that came into being from relatively rapid weight loss, the obvious secondary result would be having the kind of stomach I could show off in a two piece bathing suit next summer.
Now that is an odd thought. From having a body seven summers ago where only wearing swim shorts was appropriate at the beach or pool, to having a body next summer where breasts and genitalia are appropriately covered in two pieces -- and skin shows between those two pieces -- at the beach or pool...well, that's an interesting change in life experience.
So, a tummy tuck would definitely help my body to become more hourglass shaped than it is now. And, even though that wouldn't be my reason to have a tummy tuck, it is the reason a number of trans women I personally know have had that particular surgery. This is something to think about, my cissexual lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) blender friends -- what's the last surgery you had to better become your L, G, or B self? There is money pit of surgeries that trans women (like me) and trans men may have -- beyond genital reconstruction surgery -- to reshape our non-stereotypically male or female bodies to the more stereotypical norms of male and female body shapes. Consider yourself lucky if you don't need 'em.
Well, here's one of our personal story diaries we usually save for the weekend.
I went to the San Diego VA Medical Center this past election day (November 3, 2009), and did some snooping to find the exact date my genetic test was taken, and find out what the clinical name of the test is. After I found out the exact date and the test name, I went over to the office that releases records, and got the results of my genetic testing. Here's the header of the test::
You can see the full report by selecting it, but the posted header really has all of the information of the report. As you may be able to read in the image, my genetic karyotype was interpreted by a lab pathologist, and the results to my genetic test as follows:
NORMAL MALE KARYOTYPE
So, from the prespective my genetics, as well as the perspective of my genitalia shape at birth, I'm not an intersexual. This testing confirms to me that I'm a run-of-the-mill transsexual.
I'm still processing what this test result means. It's definitive in it's declaration, but it does have some emotional impact for me. Being declared to be intersexual would have given me a nice, tied-in-a-ribbon explanation for why my gender identity didn't match the genitalia I was born with, and now I'm back to just not knowing why.
I'm also realizing that I will probably never know the reasons why I, as an individual, am a transsexual. I used to frequently say that it didn't matter why my gender identity and genitalia I was born with didn't match -- my truth is my truth no matter what the impetus for my genitalia at birth and gender mismatch is -- but with this test I've learned something about myself: On some level, I actually do want to know why.
Yesterday (October 11, 2009), here in San Diego, we had our annual Scouting For All Rally at Balboa Park. This was the tenth annual rally, and this was the first time I was asked to speak at the rally.
The rally has two purposes. The first is to advocate for changing the antidiscrimination policies of the Boy Scouts of America -- those at policies which discriminate against non-theist, atheist, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. The second purpose is to advocate for the removal of the Boy Scout Camp from Balboa Park in San Diego. This is because the Boy Scouts' violate federal, state, and local antidiscrimination laws.
So, below is my speech for the event, and below the fold is the text of the speech as I wrote it. It's interesting that the speech coincided with the annual Coming Out Day, as my speech addresses why I stayed in the closet to my son's Boy Scout Troop.
One of the odd parallels between African-American experience and trans experience is the concept of "good hair." So, without trying to appropriate the experience of African-Americans and "good hair," let me talk about what good hair is to many trans women.
And too, let me add that the concept of good trans hair is mostly a concept of middle-aged, caucasian transsexual women. I haven't heard this concept discussed in any other subset of trans people -- I've not heard "good hair" being discussed by Hispanic-Americans, African-Americans, or Asian-American trans women, for example, with the one exception of my Latina friend (my best friend!) Vicki Estrada.
So, what is "bad hair" to these trans women in question? It's male pattern baldness in any form; it's a high forehead hairline; it's thin strands of hair that don't look like full-bodied hair; it's short hair one has early in transition left over from presenting as male. "Good hair" for the trans women in question is hair that would look natural on their heads, and appropriate woman of their visible age.
The answer to bad hair often involves weaves, extensions, and/or wigs/wiglets. Sometimes "fixing" one's "bad hair" even involves surgery. For example, I personally know two friends who've had surgery to fix their high hairlines by having hair line surgically pulled down -- forehead skin removed in the process -- and two other trans friends who have had their hair moved densely haired regions of their heads to the bald/balding spot on the backs of their heads.
And, I believe it matters. Literally, trans women are judged by their hair, and civil rights are actually involved with the perception of trans hair. Quoting a recent example by Lindsey Douthit, in a piece for the Concerned Women For America (emphasis added):
The ENDA hearing should serve as a wake-up call to Christians that they must continue to fight for religious liberty. Legislation such as ENDA serves to normalize, and even glorify, in the guise of "progressive popular culture," lifestyles that Biblical doctrine clearly teaches are wrong. Legislation like ENDA makes people think they can never be free from their sexual and other sins when in fact, Jesus Christ can save every person from all his sins, even homosexuality.
Don't be fooled -- the radical implications of ENDA are as noticeable as the glossy wigs and deep voices of the hurting and desperate transgendered female activists at the hearing who so desperately need the life-changing Gospel message offering them freedom from sin.
I have been told I have "good hair" by transgender and cisgender people alike. Although my hair color is not longer my natural color (which is now pretty gray under the coloring), my hair is dyed pretty closely to the dark blond it was in my early twenties. That said, my hair is pretty thick, and the curls are natural. I don't have to wear hats at all, but I like berets and beanies, so I wear berets and beanies.
Of course, I spend more money, as well as spend more time, on my hair now. For cash spent, coloring and cutting my hair once every eight weeks costs far more than getting my hair cut in that military style every two weeks back when I was in the Navy. In other words, four or five military style haircuts cost less than one cut and color.
And, when my hair was military length short hair, I went from just washing my hair every day -- alternately with a coal tar activated shampoo (to control my seborrhea) and a standard shampoo -- to washing my hair with two shampoos every other day -- one hard-water shampoo to strip my hair of various hair products, and a second, prescription shampoo (again, issue is controlling my seborrhea). And now too, I've added the use of a conditioner and a separate detangler, as well as using a glaze for the top of my hair, and a serum for the sides and back of my hair -- both of those to control the curly hair frizziness I didn't experience when my hair was military length short.
So, by dying my hair and using multiple products -- by expending money and time -- I'm judged to have "good hair." That is, I'm judged to have "good trans hair."
Sometimes, understanding between people who belong to minority groups come from the understanding of parallels and commonalities. My point in this piece is to show that my trans community's and my personal experiences with hair aren't the same as African-American women have with their hair, but there are a lot of parallels and commonalities to the experience of our respective communities defining exactly what "good hair" is within our respective communities. The concept of "good hair" effects African-American women and trans women as individuals, and how it effects the separate (but overlapping), respective communities. In other words, the experiences of the two communities regarding hair aren't the same at all, but there are analogies to be made between the two communities' experiences with hair.
So, let us not be blind to our differences - but let us also direct attention to our common interests and to the means by which those differences can be resolved.
If a discussion of "good hair" is a something I can use as a tool to build bridges to others in other communities, where those who work on civil rights concerns of individual communities could see the issues as being about broader and overlapping communities, then hair is a means I'm going to use to start discussion about our common civil rights interests.
As a joke with my friends, I sometimes cite that I no longer have birthdays, but instead have anniversaries of my last birthday -- the last birthday I had at age twenty-nine. Minus that original twenty-ninth birthday...well, I've celebrated the anniversary of my twenty-ninth birthday twenty-one times.
So, today is the anniversary of when I joined the U.S. Navy as...umm...apparently as a three-month-old.
From there, I spent 20-years in the U.S. Navy, my whole career dealing privately with with my internal struggles of being trans-in-the-closet.
I was married. In 1996, after 13-years of marriage, my ex-spouse and I split. I knew I intended to finish the next four-some years, and also knew I was going to be discussing my gender identity/gender expression issues -- after my scheduled retirement in 2000 -- with a therapist.
I couldn't hide my gender identity/gender expression issues during my last four years of military service. I was sexually harassed in late 1999/early 2000. My presentation, even when I was trying to publicly suppress my gender identity/gender expression issues, left me being perceived as being gay. Apparently, I was just too feminine in my mannerisms, dress, and in my verbal and written communication -- so apparently that's why I was sexually harassed for being perceived as gay.
Despite that experience, I still made it to retirement. Just barely, but I made it.
So, today, I'm a disabled (service connected) U.S. Navy twenty-year retiree/veteran. I'm also transsexual; I also identify sociopolitically as transgender. I'm not unique in being a trans person with a personal history of military service, but I've met less than a half-a-dozen over the years that actually did enough time in the military to retire.
But more broadly, I identify as a lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) veteran. My military history makes for an interesting personal history, for sure.
The point of pointing out this anniversay? Well, we have a very diverse LGBT community. As a disabled woman; as a trans woman; as a woman veteran who didn't serve in the military as a woman -- I live at the intersection of many personal and community identities.
So do many of you. Perhaps all of us shouldn't forget that the broader LGBT community intersects with many other identity communities, and using the internal LGBT community diversity as a tool to find commonalities with other communities is perhaps a worthy thing to think about.
Pam Spaulding: Pam's House Blend (Authority: 619 / Rank: 1,448) - [Politics]Pam's blog continues in the BBR #1 for the 14th month in a row. Pam is a leading voice in the LGBT community as evidenced by her recent Huffington Post commentary. It is worth noting that this blog lost almost 300 TechAuthority points, however, it leapt over 400 blogs in that same timeframe ... only 1,448 blogs stand between Pam's House Blend and the #1 blog in the world (Huffington's Post).
"But you all have the same issues we do! I mean, why are we even dividing ourselves, race doesn't matter--we are all gay."
Fifteen years ago, a white gay male friend said this to me after I asked him how responsive the [lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT)] group he ran focused on issues affecting people of color. He truly did not understand that LGBT people of color might have unique needs or that we may have different priorities than the white LGBT community. Since that conversation, I have worked diligently in the LGBT community to help my white brothers and sisters understand the privileges they enjoy as white people.
White privilege is a difficult concept for many whites to understand. As Peggy McIntosh contends in her seminal piece "White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack", Whites are not taught to recognize how their status as white people confers on them many privileges. Hopefully, this piece will try to break the layers of denial that whites have about their privilege and that work to protect, prevent awareness about, and entrench that privilege.
White privilege is a set of advantages that white people benefit from on a daily basis not afforded to people of color. White privilege can exist without white people's conscious knowledge of its presence and it helps to maintain the racial hierarchy in this country. The biggest problem with white privilege is the invisibility it maintains to those who benefit from it most...
There's more at the link. I'd give the full article a read...it's an interesting take on a subject that Pam touches on often: The intersection of race and LGBT.
...Brandon [McInerney] likely will be tried as an adult for a crime he committed at 14. Last month, at the end of his preliminary hearing, the judge said Brandon had committed the crime [of shooting and killing his classmate Letitia King, often referred to as Lawrence 'Larry' King] with the "cold-blooded precision of an executioner," according to published reports. Although I doubt the kid had as much precision when it came to fully understanding the consequences of his actions.
During my almost 25 years in Ventura County, almost nothing that has happened here has struck me as being so tragic as this case. A boy is dead, and his family is left to grieve. Brandon's life is as good as over. If convicted, he could spend 53 years to life in a California prison. If his lawyers advise him to accept a deal offered by the prosecution, that sentence would be cut in half.
Their teacher, Dawn Boldrin, has suffered breakdowns, according to an interview with her published earlier this month in The Star.
Any notion that a classroom is a safety zone was shattered for the students who watched as Brandon gunned down Larry...
The author does some victim blaming in this article, but even with that unfortunate commentary in it, it's still a pretty thought provoking piece.
Ian Stafford, 58, was arrested after women in the area called police to report knickers repeatedly disappearing from their homes.
One woman was so peturbed she installed a hidden camera in her bedroom, which recorded a semi-naked man rifling through her drawers and putting on her underwear before performing a sex act.
Investigations later revealed a collection of knickers, allegedly matching those reported stolen, at the home of the mayor.
He was arrested on suspicion of burglary and bailed...
Umm...Eep. Lord, I hope he doesn't publicly proclaim himself to be trans.
[Below the fold: Two lobster related stories, one of which involves Mika Brzezinski and me.]
For a quite a significant number of years now I've realized I was trans; for quite a few years I've publicly identified myself as a transsexual. Recently, at the suggestion of one of my health providers, I had myself genetically tested specifically to find out if I have a particular genetic condition referred to as Klinefelter's Syndrome (XXY instead of the "standard" XY or XX) -- I have, and have had, many of the symptoms of the syndrome throughout my life. And since this is one of the more common intersex conditions (1-in-500 to 1-in-1,000 "males" apparently have the condition), it's actually possible I have that condition.
I don't have the results from the test back yet. It may be a few more months before I find out what the results are as I don't have appointments with my endocrinologist or my primary care physician for a number of months. And, of course, no one is going to call me with results for a positive hit for Klinefelter's Syndrome (or any other genetic abnormality regarding sex typing) because positive result wouldn't constitute a medical emergency.
*This article is referring to "sex reassignment" surgery for individuals who do not have any medical disorders of sex development (DSDs), also known as intersex conditions.
So, this morning I was directed by a friend to a commentary piece by in The Guardian entitled Caster Semenya sex row: What makes a woman? It's a commentary about a South African 800-meter runner who is being subjected to genetic sex testing -- because she runs fast, and looks to some of her peer runners to have a male body type. This is what commentator Germaine Greer states in her piece about a possibly intersexed runner with regards to trans women (emphasis added):
Nowadays we are all likely to meet people who think they are women, have women's names, and feminine clothes and lots of eyeshadow, who seem to us to be some kind of ghastly parody, though it isn't polite to say so. We pretend that all the people passing for female really are. Other delusions may be challenged, but not a man's delusion that he is female.
Of course, she makes broad, immoderate statements regarding cissexual women as well, when many of us are aware that what might be generally true about a group may not be true for individuals of that group:
People who don't ovulate or menstruate will probably always physically outperform people who do.
Kate Bornstein made this comment on the article, based on Ms. Greer's rigidity regarding sex and gender:
Germaine Greer has been a Pomo-gender naysayer for all her career. Her latest on transwomen is neither surprising nor in the least germane.
But that part of this discussion aside, when I'm honest with myself, I have to admit I'm hoping on some level that my genetic test comes back indicating I'm intersexed. Whether I'm a transsexual or an intersexual will have no bearing whatsoever on my gender identity, but if I have a test I can literally point to that says "See? There's a scientifically verifiable reason why my gender and genitalia didn't match at birth" ...
[Below the fold: How being found to be intersexed would change everything and nothing for me.]
In a very light-hearted and very brief interview (just over 2 minutes long), Associate Professor Melissa Harris-Lacewell and I discuss why she's at NetRoots Nation (her blogging at The Nation, her partner James Perry running for mayor of New Orleans, etc), as well as her thoughts are about Lane Hudson shouting a question to President Clinton at NetRoots Nation. Professor Harris-Lacewell also talks briefly about the importance of the netroots on reporting on news, as well as how the netroots can create news for main stream media.
And hey, in the interview I found out that both the good professor and I have two kats! How kewl is that?
Off camera, she and I discussed about how the African-American experience has many overlaps with trans experience ("passing" as white/"passing" as one's target sex; African-American "good hair"/trans "good hair"; how "articulate" is often a sideways compliment for African-Americans and trans people, etc.) , and said someone should write a book about that. I told her that I was actually talking to Pam (trying to convince Pam!) about how she and I should be writing a book of essays -- essays that include the similarities and differences between African-American experience and trans experience. I found it surprising that an academic of Prof. Harris-Lacewell's caliber actually was the one who brought up in our conversation that the comparison between African-American experience and trans experience might be the subject of an interesting book, as this is an idea I'd brought that up as a subject with Pam about two months ago.
I'm actually somewhat curious now if Pam and I could actually sell the book of essay ideas we've been talking about -- apparently Prof. Harris-Lacewell would at least be interested in reading the section of the essay book comparing African-American and trans experience.
Later today I'll have the separate interview up with her partner James Perry, where he discusses his run for mayor of New Orleans (another short interview).
I took a whiff of my right arm underarm this morning, and had no idea that I was smelling what ObamaCare smells like. Or should I say, the armpit of my right "chicken wing" smells an awful much like what Taxpayer-Funded Tranny-Care would smell like, and this stinkiness is at the heart of the ObamaCare healthcare reform plan.
And on top of stinking like my armpit this morning, ObamaCare"Obama's Tranny-Care" looks an awful lot like me too...except, umm, circa 2004. Who knew? (Hey -- couldn't President Obama use a more current picture of me? I'm thinner and cuter now, thanks to Bush's "Tranny-Care" healthcare plan!)
And yet apparently, President Obama has been working diligently behind the scenes to fund genital reconstruction surgery -- apparently this was all part of his evil plan from the get-go. From Peter LaBarbera's Americans For Truth About Homosexuality comes an article entitled Taxpayer-Funded Tranny-Care? ObamaCare Could Mandate Free 'Sex-Change' Surgeries
Transsexual activists like Autumn Sandeen (...that's his "female" name -- adopted after leaving his traditional role as husband and father) are caught up in gender confusion. For some, this culminates in body-disfiguring operations to "change" into the opposite sex. No American should be forced to pay for these nature-rejecting procedures with his or her tax dollars. Homosexual groups like Human Rights Campaign boast of their support for taxpayer-funded "sex-change" operations in cities like San Francisco.
Folks, you don't have to be very politically sophisticated to predict that GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender) activists and their liberal allies are going to demand "Tranny-Care" under a federal health insurance system, in the name of "fairness" and "inclusion" - even if it's not passed initially as a "benefit." And yes, the idea of subsidizing body-disfiguring "operations" surely would be considered "queer" by the average tax-paying American. Already, trans activists are strategizing on the best ways to get taxpayers to pay for their gender-confused mutilations "sex change" procedures -- and Human Rights Campaign and other homosexual lobby groups boast of their support for same in cities like San Francisco.
-- Peter LaBarbera, www.aftah.com
Mr. LaBarbera then goes off on to highlight the Liberty Counsel's take on HR 3200 where the "sex change operations" are brought up as a red herring, and then he follows up with the Liberty Council piece by his friend Matt Barber (that Pam wrote about yesterday).
Seriously. Personal attacks related to when I divorced my ex-spouse seem a bit much from someone whose Republican and Christian peers include Former Speaker Newt Gingrich, Senator John Ensign, and ex-Senator Larry "Wide Stance" Craig. And indirectly referring to me and my trans peers by the term "tranny" when he no doubt knows the term is often used as a defamatory term? -- including in how Mr. LaBarbera has used this term as a defamatory term in this very article?
And frankly, what does any of that have to do with healthcare reform?
Let's be frank here. This discussion of my ex-spouse, my children, and sex change operations in regards to healthcare reform are red herrings. These discussion points of abortions going to be federally funded by healthcare reform (these won't be), that America's over-65 year old folk are going to have government employees at their homes demanding they make living wills (they won't), and now "sex change operations" are diversionary tactics, which are related to being obstructive with regards to healthcare reform. These opponents to healthcare reform are also being intentionally obtuse on the real issues related to the current unsustainable cost growth tied to American healthcare, insurance reform, and how 47-million Americans currently have no health insurance.
And frankly too, Mr. LaBarbera is trying to engage in the fallacious argument of needling by directing personal attacks at me and using defamatory language regarding all trans people.
What Mr. LaBarbera doesn't seem to be aware of is that I'm already on the President Bush "Tranny-Care" system. In 2002, I was declared to be a service-connected, disabled veteran. I spent years serving America in the United States Navy, and am officially listed as a Persian Gulf War veteran (although I never was involved in combat operations); I retired from the military with 20-years of service to my country in 2000. Currently, my Veterans Administration (VA) disability rating is 100%.
When I had my Gastric Bypass in February of 2008, American taxpayers paid for it. The point I'm trying to make with that is that healthcare for most trans people -- including me -- does include medical treatments related to being trans, but more importantly we have health issues of the types that the broad swath of Americans have. The shape of my peers' and my genitalia shouldn't place treatment for our basic healthcare needs out of many Americans' reach, my trans peers' reach, and my reach.
Let's keep in mind what those who are bringing up "sex change operations" don't really care that much about whether or not I personally get genital reconstruction surgery paid for by the government; what these folk really want to do is derail all healthcare reform -- and if badmouthing trans people like me is how they believe they can derail it, then they're going to badmouth trans people like me.
During Equality California's (EQCA's) Los Angeles Awards Dinner, I had an opportunity to listen to award winner Representative Judy Chu (D-CA) speak, and had a brief opportunity to sit down with her. When I arrived at the dinner, her name was very familiar, but I just couldn't place it. But when she was introduced, and then spoke, I was a bit taken aback with awe.
I don't get taken aback with awe very much in my life anymore, so it's a big deal to me when I do. Tears actually welled up in my eyes when I realized who she was, and why her name was familiar to me. So let me tell you why I knew her name.
The Foster Youth Anti-Discrimination Act was reintroduced in 2003 as AB 458. Transgender youth were included, and Gov. Davis signed that bill, in what folk like me perceived to be because he was pandering to the LGBT community -- due to the then pending recall against him.
The point I took away from that fight, back then, was that our Democratic Assembly -- especially Assemblymember Judy Chu -- would not leave anyone behind. And, the people she would not leave behind were lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth who likely would never have an opportunity to vote to reelect her to the State Assembly. As a trans woman, I was sure -- am sure -- she wouldn't leave anyone behind.
Now, as of July 16th, she is a California Congresswoman, representing the 32nd District. She is the first Chinese-American Woman ever to serve in Congress, winning a special election for the seat.
Kenny Chiu was a 17 year old Taiwanese American who was stabbed to death 26 times in the driveway of his own home by his neo-nazi neighbor just for being Asian American. Matthew Shepherd was only 21 years old when he was dragged from a bar, beaten, tied to a split-rail fence like a scarecrow and left to die in the cold of the night--- just for being gay.
I cannot fight for the civil rights of one group without fighting for the civil rights of the other. Things will not change until people stand up and say strongly and unflinchingly that we will not tolerate making anybody in this state a second class citizen.
It was moving.
This is where I get to talk about what a horrible interviewer I was that night. I had a chance to interview her after she received the award, and frankly I spent my time that I had to interview her to fawn over her...to tell her how much I appreciated her work for transgender people and transgender youth when she was an Assemblymember.
In my one serious question for Rep. Chu, I asked what message she would want to share with the Pam's House Blend audience. She told me two things. One was that she that didn't have a federal hate crime law (Matthew Sheppard Act) and an employment non-discrimination law (ENDA) that included lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans people to be "ridiculous" to her, and that she planned to continue to fight for the rights of all people.
I don't doubt it for a minute.
Honestly, I can't thank Equality California enough for honoring California's newest congresswoman. Congresswoman Chu is a politician of whom I can say -- with genuine heartfelt feeling -- so deserved the recognition she received this past weekend.
Photographs of Congresswoman Judy Chu and Autumn Sandeen by Karen Ocamb of In/Frontiers Magazine.
My introduction to my photostream from the 2009 San Diego Pride Parade (the video is all of one-and-a-half-minutes long, no editing of the intro either):
And the 250-ish photos I took of that parade:
I was there with my friend Vicki, her wife Lynda, Vicki and Lynda's friend Gail. I met my oldest son and his girlfriend at the parade too.
It was fun! I didn't go near the "free speech zone" to hear the conservative "Christian" spew their hate, but I decided I'd rather have fun yesterday than see & hear the crappy part of my home town's pride weekend. Sue me.
So hey, this too is an open thread, so blogwhore, discuss Pride events you've gone to this year...whatever!
Update: The San Diego Union-Tribune's take on the Transgender Comminity's float in the parade:
Gabriel Mason helped build a float with the facade of the Stonewall Bar behind the cab of a flatbed truck, with the letters L-G-B-T emerging from the front door of the club.
They placed the T in the back of the flatbed, as if it was leading a march into the street, Mason said, because he and his friends have suffered more discrimination than most.
"The transgender community has been knocked under the bus," said Mason, 44, a Golden Hill resident who lived as a woman until he was 38. "But it's our turn now. Transgender is the new gay."
I made the comment below in the reposting of the Trans-ghettoized diary. Pam commented to me privately this past Tuesday on how this comment should likely be unburied from that comment thread, and put on the front page. Dyssonance made the same comment a week ago Friday. So, I'm unburying this -- but I waited for the weekend when we take a little more liberty to do personal diaries.
Basically, this was a response to a comment by Eshto, where that blender commented that the Trans-ghettoized seemed to be a post that called for civility towards trans blenders, and that Eshto thought some of the comments behind why I originally wrote the Trans-ghettoized diary were really over the line. Here's how I responded a week ago Friday to Eshto's comment in that thread:
It's like mothering. We think of mothering as a virtue, but the reality is that you can over-mother a child.
Definitely, the pendulum has swung very widely in the past two weeks. As a group, we at PHB went from piecemeal, sometimes "over-mothering" of threads to, as a group, not "mothering" the threads at all.
I know for me, saying "I'm sorry for my many mistakes" at this point is part of being civil. But, being sorry for "over-mothering" our threads really isn't enough.
It's the repenting that's the more important part. Sure, changing the system we use to moderate will minimize the chance that a "cis- scenario" repeats here. But too, maintaining awareness of my personal potential to over-reach and "over-mother" -- especially when I feel personally stressed -- is going to be another part.
So, it's sort of a two-part fix. One part is The Blend's systematic fix for moderating. The other part is more personal -- changing my perspective and my actions. It's the repenting of my past mistakes that is going to be key for my part in maintaining my own personal civility here at PHB.
As if there were safety in stupidity alone. --Henry David Thoreau
The systematic fix to how we moderate was implemented on Monday, July 13th with the update to the Pam's House Blend Terms And Conditions Of Service (TOS), as well as the blenderReport TOS Violations section (and its Submit Report button) up in the top of the right column.
But, I guess I need to clarify something. And that is, if I actually express that I've made a mistake, or express I was wrong, implicitly I'm saying I'm sorry, and I'm already thinking about repenting -- about how to change my thoughts and behavior so I don't repeat my mistakes.
Sometimes, I don't say the words "I'm sorry" because I think that's understood in admitting I've made a mistake; that it's understood that I have a habit of alwaysrepenting of my admitted mistakes.
But, you blenders shouldn't be expected to attempt to figure out what I implicitly meant. During these past weeks I should have explicitly stated that "I'm sorry." I should have also stated that I have been working out with Pam and my fellow barists systematic fixes to the moderation problem, and that my act of repentance -- that change of my thoughts and my behavior -- was intended as a follow-on to that should-have-been-expressed "I'm sorry."
Basically, I didn't clearly state what I should have clearly stated.
So, I've listened (and listen) to Pam, and I've listened to Dyssonance. So here that comment from the Trans-ghettoized has made it to the front page as its own diary.
So, if it's not clear what I'm saying:
• I made many mistakes at The Blend in "over-mothering" our comment threads for civility.
• I'm sorry I made those mistakes.
• Pam and my peer baristas have implemented a systematic change to way we moderate so the moderation will be more clear, fair, and even-handed with our new Terms And Conditions Of Service (TOS).
• I'm now very aware of my tendency to want to "over-mother" our threads to tamp down anger. Between those systematic changes to the TOS, and that new awareness of that "over-mothering" tendency of mine, my approach to moderating has changed dramaticly.
It really is the repenting of my past mistakes that is going to be key for my part in maintaining my own personal civility here at PHB.
(NOTE FROM PAM: Autumn wanted to respond to the many emails and comments from the transgender community in response a couple of diaries that generated contentious, often angry and uncivil exchanges between commenters and how moderation was handled. This comment thread is completely for your open feedback; she and I will let you speak.)
Suddenly I'm Miss Farrah Fawcett on TV...
Until I wake up, and I turn back into myself.
Somewhere between communicating effectively -- so that people will listen to my peers and me about trans civil rights issues -- and communicating only anger and hate, I feel lost. I don't want to give into "the tone argument" -- the argument that oppressors get to define what words the oppressed get to use, and get to say "I'd pay attention to you if your tone was better" -- but somewhere between civility and "the tone argument" there must be a balance...there must be a middle ground.
As we've called for civility between blenders here at Pam's House Blend -- well, today I asked my kat Bon-Bon about where that balance and middle ground is. As usual, she silently turned from looking out her perch at the front window -- the window that that looks out on the street -- and silently stared back at me.
[Below the fold -- trans-feminist terminology that's currently spoiled at The Blend, feeling like I'm fruitlessly railing against incivility atThe Blend, and discussion of how I have "an angry inch."]
Excerpt (from below the fold): Frankly, my transgender peers, this is where I began seeing the terms cisgender and cissexual as weapons in the Pam's House Blend threads. When, in my opinion, these terms should be used to teach -- as Julia Serrano and others use the term -- it was used to express anger and hate.
...In my opinion, this blender began this recent Pam's House Blend a discussion of cis- terminology with a can of gasoline and a match, and then has responded with anger as I tried to put out the fires.
Okay, it's the weekend, where we sometimes relax and discuss lighter subjects in our virtual coffee house. So, I'm sharing one of my birthday gifts with y'all -- a rendering of me as Coffeegirl.
Well! What a super-wonderful birthday present from my aritstic and creative friends!
We know Coffeegirl is a Kryptonian who was exposed to pink kryptonite while in the womb, which is why her super powers are -- and her life story are -- a little different from Superman's and Supergirl's powers and history. Coffeegirl can fly (think Red Bull wings!), is super speedy (with all that caffeine in her system, that would be expected!), super-verbose (Blah, blah, BLAH, blah, blah!) and she carries with her The Percolator -- a space-aged gun that shoots any beverage (or beverage additive) that a coffee house would have!
Coffeegirl is a superhero that of course stands for Awakening America to Truth, Social Justice, and the Ameridroid way!
So here are some of Coffeegirl's slogans and sayings I dreamed up her -- would love to hear any y'all could add to her repertoire:
• I haven't had my doubleshot hammerhead this morning -- I guess it's hammerhead time!
• Looks like you're going to enjoy a blast of my whipped hazelnut creamer, mister!
• Take it for granted I'm a coffee achiever!
• I don't need anything but decaf shots to take you down, villain!
And of course the classic...
• One lump or two, mister?
Seriously, the artistic rendering of Coffeegirl has been such an incredibly fun birthday present. (Her kicky beret is sooooo "me," y'know?) I already have the artwork up on my About Autumn page, and I'm using Coffeegirl headshots on both twitter and Facebook.
Thank you so much, Jayna and Mila. What a super-fun 50th birthday gift!
Unlike Pam, most of the "hate mail" I receive comes from people who either are, or could be considered, my community peers. I don't get much unfriendly mail from conservative "Christians."
With that in mind, this letter below was actually was sent to Kim Pearson of TransYouth Family Allies (TYFA), but it was directed at our joint appearance on KRXQ's Rob, Arnie, And Dawn In The Morning appearance last week...
my name is [name redacted] and i am a bisexual person, how dare you people do what you did. its people like U and glaad and all these stupid organizations that make people hate us, it makes it so much worse for people like me or gays or transexuals to come out with u people blocking up the media and pissing the community off, your no better than the NAACP, or any other stupid organization like that. one day people will accept us for who we are, and it will be our own doing, and i bet u people will take credit too. All of the people that know im bi are cool with it, nobody cares. its people like you that make it worse for people like me. O and FYI if a guy is born a guy then hes a guy. HE may want to live his live as a woman, and thats 100% ok, but dont get up there and sugar coat the issue, trying to tell people that hes actually a girl, but was born a guy. shut it, its simple science. FEMALE or MALE and on RARE occasions a mix up. and and a transgender is has a 50/50 chance of being gay, depending on the way they look at it. STOP RUINING AMERICA AND PEOPLE LIKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice. I'm still trying to figure out how Kim and I are ruining this writer.
I guess the point is that it seems to me that for personal critisms, my trans community family, friends, peers, allies -- as well as lesbian, gay, and bisexual community, peers, allies -- are the trans activists' most vocal critics. In other words, it's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, "classic transsexuals," and women-born-transsexual people who are the ones personally attacking individual trans activists the most, and not people in the religious right.
So, to those here who say "I know almost nothing about transgender people and issues," well, that's in large part why I'm a contributor here at The Blend -- to talk about where sex and gender intersects the lives and politics of the myriad of community identities. I'm here, in large part, to educate.
This is also why Monica Roberts writes about the intersestion of race and trans civil rights issues over at Transgriot, and why blogs like Questioning Transphobia, PlanetTransgender, and AE Brain cover other aspects of being trans or intersex.
For those of you who didn't see it in this weekend's news cycles, my nemesis Alexis Luther recently exposed that I, as mild mannered new media reporter Autumn Sandeen, have really been presenting to y'all the secret identity of CoffeeGirl, the Kryptonian superhero who uses her coffee related powers to keep Earth safe for truth, justice, and the Ameridroid way.
I guess the secret's out -- I'm not quite human at all. I'm actually a "the other" type of alien who cares about humanity instead being part of humanity and caring about "us." (Slogan: We are US, and US is America!) Anywho, now that my superhero identity has been publicly connected to my "secret" identity of mild mannered reporter Autumn Sandeen, I can tell you about stuff that happened last week that I couldn't tell y'all before.
For starters, I checked with my "friends" Mila and Jayna, and they admitted to me that they do indeed keep a stash of green kryptonite in their home under the bed I slept in. They apologized to me after my secret identity was revealed -- they would have kept the kryptonite in their lead lined cedar chest if they had known I was CoffeeGirl, but they'd taken their kryptonite out of the box to show their friend Jenny that they had it, and just hadn't gotten around to putting it back in the box yet. As Jayna said, "It's not like we knew you were CoffeeGirl before you slept in the spare room!"
And as for my computer crapping out? My friend April did admit that to me that she does keep a stash of red kryptonite in the house. For those unaware of Kryptonian mythology, each piece of red kryptonite effects Kryptonians differently -- It's the "mystery effect" kryptonite. So this time, the red kryptonite turned my working, Kryptonian laptop into a non-working model. It's looks like I'll have to replace the effected component, as my laptop was exposed to the red kryptonite for far too long to recover. And unfortunately, the red kryptonite apparently effected me by giving me insomnia -- which lasted for 48 hours during the trip. (That's the other thing -- effects of red kryptonite usually only last 2-days! )
And by the way, when I was young, I suspect it was really pink kryptonite that turned me trans. But, I assume pink kryptonite also infuenced the development of all my coffee related super powers, so of course I wouldn't begrudge my exposure to this powerful substance.
KRXQ's morning crew, The Rob, Arnie and Dawn Show, thought it was knee-slapping funny to advocate child abuse of transgender children during a discussion about a an Omaha family supporting their transgender child and her transition. The hosts refused to apologize for it, and then they learned a tough lesson when 11 major advertisers pulled their contracts from KRXQ because of blogging here at PHB, and your calls.
On Thursday (June 11 at 7:30 AM PST), Trans Youth Family Allies Executive Director Kim Pearson and Blend barista Autumn Sandeen, who was leading the charge on this story (along with HuffPost's blogger Michael Rowe), are going on air, at the invitation of the station, to discuss the issue. GLAAD has been on top of this and helped facilitate (with your help via calls to advertisers and the station) this development. (GLAADBlog):
KRXQ has assured us that the June 11th follow-up show will be conducted in a "frank and positive manner." It was explicitly stated to us that we will hear an apology from the radio hosts and listeners will be able to call in. As always, we remind everyone to be respectful and civil when calling into the show.
GLAAD has additionally suggested a transgender media training with our community partners. KRXQ was receptive to the suggestion and we will further discuss this following Thursday's radio broadcast.
Media have been continuing to follow the story, garnering national coverage. Local media outlets in Sacramento have been especially helpful in covering this story - including The Sacramento Press, FOX40 and The Sacramento Bee. Community blogs have also been extremely effective in sharing updates on this issue and mobilizing readers to take action.
I spoke with Autumn today while she was on the road. She noted that this quick response by KRXQ to the situation is due to the power of the Internet - this was a story not covered by our orgs, most LGBT blogs or major media until activism caught fire -- and yet advertisers were still contacted by enough of you to make this station buckle. Rob Williams and Arnie States might have thought they were having a grand old time on the air, but they realized you all meant business once their paychecks were on the line.
Hey, I was going to post this earlier today (Sunday), but I was busy on the Rob, Arnie, And Dawn In The Morning show story.
So on the very lighter side, here's my compensation-less endorsement of a product from P-Mate USA:
I get to talk about partying gay men spraying toilet seats in the video -- hard to keep from laughing while recording this. But hey, it's a serious product for a serious real world problem for women in some public restrooms.
I'm always amazed by the reach of Pam's House Blend. Looking at our website visits and page view numbers, we're now averaging between 9,000 and 10,000 visitors a day. This is up by roughly a factor of two from our pre-Democratic National Conventions numbers.
If the end of the world occurs soon after the Alliance Defense Fund (a legal organization that was created byJames D. D. James Kennedy of Coral Ridge Ministries and James Dobson of Focus On The Family/CitizenLink) has linked to us, the end of the world is coming soon, eh?
Ah, I'm reminiscing on Greeley, Colorado this weekend.
Well, So here's a fun kind of diary post I saved for our more lax weekends -- the hilarity of exchanging fan photos with Beth Karas. She's someone whose work I highly respect, and she's now someone I count as a friend.
When we were in Greeley, a fan of her's came up to her at one point while we were discussing the Angie Zapata Hate Crime Murder Trial. The fan wanted an autographed photo, so Beth went into the TruTV In Session trailer and retrieved a photo for the fan, and autographed it. Well, as long as Beth had the photos out, of course I asked for one!
The autograph (made with a silver Sharpie):
To Autumn -
You're a highlight of the trial - stay in touch always
Love,
Beth
So kewl.
Well, I promised that I would send her a reciprocally signed, 8" x 10" "fan photo" of me in my women's Dress Blue Navy Uniform when I got back home to San Diego. Well, I followed through on that promise last week...
[Below the fold is my autographed, "fan photo" that I sent to Beth.]
This is one of those save-for-the-weekend discussion kind of posts, and it's in the spirit of Pam's House Blend being a virtual lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender coffee house -- and in our PHB virtual coffee house, the baristas (I'm a barista!) will occasionally discuss what's going on in our lives.
So, although the tummy tuck would be ostensively to treat the propensity I have to rash under the skin fold that came into being from relatively rapid weight loss, the obvious secondary result would be having the kind of stomach I could show off in a two piece bathing suit next summer.
my hair is dyed pretty closely to the dark blond it was in my early twenties. That said, my hair is pretty thick, and the curls are natural. I don't have to wear hats at all, but I like berets and beanies, so I wear berets and beanies.
And the 250-ish photos I took of that parade:
I met my oldest son and his girlfriend at the parade too. 
It was fun! I didn't go near the "free speech zone" to hear the conservative "Christian" spew their hate, but I decided I'd rather have fun yesterday than see & hear the crappy part of my home town's pride weekend. 
Sue me. 
As if there were safety in stupidity alone.
I guess the secret's out -- I'm not quite human at all. I'm actually a "the other" type of alien who cares about humanity instead being part of humanity and caring about "us." (Slogan: We are US, and US is America!) Anywho, now that my superhero identity has been publicly connected to my "secret" identity of mild mannered reporter Autumn Sandeen, I can tell you about stuff that happened last week that I couldn't tell y'all before.
And as for my computer crapping out? My friend April did admit that to me that she does keep a stash of red kryptonite in the house. For those unaware of Kryptonian mythology, each piece of red kryptonite effects Kryptonians differently -- It's the "mystery effect" kryptonite. So this time, the red kryptonite turned my working, Kryptonian laptop into a non-working model. It's looks like I'll have to replace the effected component, as my laptop was exposed to the red kryptonite for far too long to recover. And unfortunately, the red kryptonite apparently effected me by giving me insomnia -- which lasted for 48 hours during the trip. (That's the other thing -- effects of red kryptonite usually only last 2-days! 
)
But, I assume pink kryptonite also infuenced the development of all my coffee related super powers, so of course I wouldn't begrudge my exposure to this powerful substance. 
But hey, it's a serious product for a serious real world problem for women in some public restrooms.
